What to Do When You Can’t Come

Ryan Bird
hookupguru
Published in
5 min readJun 27, 2024
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Ever found yourself in a situation where you just can’t finish the race? You’re not alone. Many people experience times when they can’t come, and it can be frustrating. But don’t worry, I’ve got you covered with tips and tricks to get things moving along. Whether you’re a man having trouble coming or looking to help your partner, this guide will make sure you’re never left hanging again.

1. Communicate with your partner 🗣️

When discussing what to do when you can’t come, talking openly with your partner can make a big difference. Share your feelings and concerns. It might be awkward at first, but honesty can ease the tension and help you both find a solution.

Think about trying to guess what your partner is thinking — it’s like a bad game of charades. Instead, sit down and have a real conversation. Tell your partner what feels good and what doesn’t. Ask them about their preferences too. This two-way street of communication can help reduce stress and make the experience more enjoyable for both of you.

2. Relax and Take Your Time 😌

Stress and anxiety are major mood killers. If a man can’t ejaculate, it could be due to performance pressure. Try to create a relaxing environment to help ease those nerves.

Light some candles, play some soft music, and maybe even take a warm bath together. By focusing on creating a relaxing atmosphere, you can help your body and mind get in sync. Think of it as setting the stage for the main event. When you’re relaxed, things are more likely to flow naturally.

3. Switch Things Up 🔁

Sometimes, all you need is a change of scenery or technique. If a man can’t cum, trying different positions or locations can help. Think outside the bedroom — the living room, kitchen, or even the backseat of your car can add a new twist.

Here’s a quick list to spice things up:

  • Try different positions — missionary, doggy style, or reverse cowgirl.
  • Experiment with toys — vibrators, rings, or even simple feathers.
  • Change the location — shower, couch, or even the floor.

These small changes can make a big difference. It’s like adding new ingredients to a recipe — you never know what might turn out to be your new favorite.

4. Focus on Foreplay 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

Jumping straight to the main event isn’t always the best strategy. Focusing on foreplay can help a man having trouble coming to build up more excitement and arousal.

Think of foreplay as the appetizer before the main course. Spend extra time kissing, touching, and exploring each other’s bodies. This can help build up the tension and make the climax more explosive. Think of the experience as fun and not just about the end goal.

Read also: Ways to Make Condoms More Pleasurable

5. Healthy Lifestyle Choices 💪

Sometimes, the problem isn’t in the bedroom but in your lifestyle. Eating right, exercising, and avoiding excessive alcohol can improve your sexual health.

Cutting back on junk food and hitting the gym can improve your energy levels and stamina. Also, reducing stress through activities like yoga or meditation can positively impact you. Think of your body as a car — it runs better when you use high-quality fuel and keep it in good shape.

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6. Professional Help 🩺

If you’ve tried everything and still find that a man can’t ejaculate, it might be time to seek professional help. Therapists and doctors can provide guidance and solutions that you might not have considered.

Talking to a professional isn’t a sign of failure — it’s a smart move. They can help identify any physical or psychological issues that might be causing the problem. Sometimes, just having an outside perspective can make a big difference.

7. Focus on the Experience, Not Just the End 🎯

Putting too much emphasis on the climax can create pressure. Instead, enjoy the experience and focus on the pleasure. Sometimes, the best moments are found in the experience itself.

Think about it like watching a movie. You wouldn’t skip to the end, would you? Enjoy each scene and let things unfold naturally. This can help relieve the pressure and make for a much more pleasurable experience for both of you.

8. Use Lubricants 🧴

Using lubricants can help reduce friction and increase pleasure for those out of ideas on how to make a man cum faster. It’s a simple trick that can make a big difference.

Choose a high-quality lubricant that suits your needs. Whether it’s water-based, silicone-based, or oil-based, find one that feels right for you. It’s like adding a bit of oil to a squeaky hinge — things move much smoother.

9. Try Edging 🧔🏻

Edging involves bringing yourself close to climax and then stopping before reaching it. This technique can help build up a stronger climax when a man can’t ejaculate.

Start by getting yourself to the brink of climax, then stop and let the feeling subside before starting again. Repeat this a few times before finally letting go. It’s like saving the best part of a meal for last — it makes the final bite so much more satisfying.

10. Medications and Supplements 💊

There are various medications and supplements available for those who don’t know how to help partner with delayed ejaculation. Consult with a doctor to find out what’s best for you.

Sometimes, the solution might come in a pill or supplement form. These can help address physical issues that might be causing the problem. Just like taking vitamins to improve your health, these can help improve your sexual performance.

Conclusion 📌

Dealing with delayed ejaculation can be frustrating, sure. However, the best course of action here is to understand that you’re not alone with this issue, so many solutions exist. You can overcome this hurdle by communicating with your partner, trying different techniques, and seeking professional help when necessary. Keep things light-hearted and fun — after all, the main goal is to enjoy the experience together.

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Ryan Bird
hookupguru

Hello! I'm Ryan Bird, an editorial assistant at Hookupguru.com with over six years of experience testing hookup sites and sharing the latest casual sex trends.