Y’all Take Care: Work-Life Integration for the Win
My big, goofy grin may obscure this to the outside world, but my close friends know (and my dear Hope Street Group colleagues have surely detected by now) that I can be a neurotic mess. The “good girl” syndrome — get super grades, make no waves, make Mommy and Daddy proud, take on leadership of your peers — has carried into adulthood, no doubt propelling me to achieve worthwhile things, not the least of all a rewarding and stimulating career in the nonprofit sector. But that drive to perfectionism comes at a cost. Occasionally, good girls like me must throw up her hands (the to-do list hasn’t been whittled down today, it’s spread to a new page! 😩) and get the heck out of Dodge. Can you relate?
This year has marked a whole lot of time outdoors to counterbalance seemingly nonstop screen time with this fast-moving organization. Last year my husband and I bought kayaks, and we have since etched out time to go floating, camping, and hiking, preferably without cell service. I’ve built personal trips off of work trips when sent to neat destinations like Utah (shoutout to the UT Teacher Fellows and their fearless leader, Tabitha, for hosting the Teacher Advisory Council in June!). But — newsflash — the work is always there when you get back. It doesn’t disappear, even if you do. In fact, it compounds.
Which is why I propose that we achievers don’t always need to escape from the rigor so much as harness it, and iron out the seams between work-life and life-life. This is sometimes called work-life integration, and it’s harder than it sounds. (Read more on the concept via Inc. and Forbes.) But balance is, for so many of us in the 21st century, especially working virtually, an elusive if not futile pursuit. A non-starter. Emails come in, emails need returning. Projects requiring substantial, focused work time get repeatedly moved along the Google calendar days as impromptu meetings take priority.
On the flipside, inspiration may strike you at any odd time outside of traditional “work hours,” and why wouldn’t you jot down those notes, or go ahead and tackle that task, when your energy allows — maybe even, for super creative types, demands — it?! Boundaries are wonderful and healthy (a non-negotiable date night, yoga class or your kid’s musical, for instance), but so is producing when you can, and recognizing that it’s a gift to devote your talents and precious time to something worthwhile.
I’ve found that my stress is actually higher when I feel the NEED to stop working, without the WANT to turn it off. Does your work-work move you, keep you ticking, keep you connected to others and to a purpose beyond yourself? What a blessing! But here’s the key: when you’re feeling disconnected, burnt out, bummed out, something less than enthusiastic about the work-work, don’t submerge yourself in guilt about it. (I have tended toward this beating myself up in the past, and it produces nothing of value. Feeling bad about feeling bad is cyclic and toxic and generally…no good.)
Instead, recognize that a lapse in energy or care to do is very human, and probably momentary. Draw close the people and hobbies that re-energize you for the work-work at hand (besides being outside, this for me includes producing a free-format show for a local radio station, and registering voters at concerts with HeadCount, which actually both complement my work-work quite well), and bounce back to world domination when you’re ready. It’s like taking a walk up a tough hill during your half marathon instead of bailing half-way through the race course, forgoing the sweetness of the finish line. Just keep moving, fuel yourself with what you need, and pick up the pace again when you’re ready. Forgive yourself for imperfection. The people you reach — family, colleagues, customers or students — will ultimately benefit more from the “brisk walk” that allows you to tend to multiple facets of your life, than they would the short sprint bursts that may appear to produce Big Things, but actually leave you breathless and possibly even injured.
Why am I writing this just before the holidays? For one, I’m about to allow myself and my dear HSG colleagues a break from writing deadlines, so this post serves as a Medium blog sign-off for 2018. (We appreciate your readership!) But secondly, this is a very common time to feel “less than,” and/or “not enough” for all that work-life and life-life are asking of you. Especially in service roles like teaching, for healthcare providers without holidays, for frontline retail workers at every crazed shopper’s mercy (or lack thereof), and also for working parents hosting sofas full of relatives on their scant days “off,” it may seem like there’s no rest for the weary.
Can you find joy in work-life integration, meantime? Feel like yourself morning, noon and night? Weave the fabric of your vocation into that of your home and family obligations? Try. Take care of yourself, so you can continue caring for others. I see you, and appreciate you, closing out 2018 and into the doubtless busy, challenging and super-rewarding New Year.
Celia Gregory serves as Engagement and Communication Director with Hope Street Group (HSG), previously supporting the National Teacher Fellows from 2015 through 2017, and annually coordinating the application and recruitment process for state and local Teacher Fellows programs. In addition to crafting national strategy for amplifying HSG’s networks, Celia leads the Teacher Advisory Council, a representative group of alumni Teacher Fellows from 10 states. Based in Nashville, Tennessee, she tweets via @CeliaSGregory.
