Don’t Shut That Door….

Belinda B
Belinda B
Aug 26, 2017 · 3 min read
Open Sesame! Pic credit: Pixabay

When one door closes, another opens. Or so they say. And right now, I’m hoping against hope that little old saying has some truth to it.

I had a much wanted opportunity, and I let it go. Sitting here reflecting on it, anxiety nowhere to be found as it has done its job and is awaiting another day to make me second guess and overthink everything, I find myself a little sad about this lost chance. It was a great little opportunity and one I would have been more than happy to be a part of, but for several reasons it was not to be. Debate is still open about whether I self sabotaged it to the point where there was no other option but to say no, or if it didn’t work out because it simply was not meant to be. I’m going with both. I was so unsure what to do with in this situation, it was uncharted territory and I had no one in the know to turn to for advice. I was on my own and it was a scary as hell.

Now, a ‘Fuck it, just do it’ person would have said just that and gone for it (I have a tonne of admiration for those types by the way) but no, not me. I twisted, I turned, I entertained every scenario possible my overthinking little mind could come up with and I still felt more lost than before. I was feeling physically sick with my uncertainty and just not knowing what to do. I was driving my family bonkers with my indecisiveness and fear. Finally, I reached out to an expert and sought help. I was advised not to do it. The decision was made for me. I said no. The end.

Maybe I overreacted, maybe I didn’t. Maybe I was smart in seeking help, maybe I shouldn’t have. All I know is it’s done, it’s over and I can’t keep torturing myself with if’s and but’s. It was not meant to be so it wasn’t.

If I’ve walked away having learnt one thing from this experience it’s this — the next opportunity that comes my way, I’ll know how to handle it. If anything good came from this experience it’s that I’ve learnt from it. Next time, I’ll be a bit more prepared and have a little bit of knowledge behind me. Maybe that’s all this was? An anxiety riddled learning experience? A nicely worded, but educational, memo with handy points I needed to know would have sufficed. Just saying.

I have to believe there are other experiences out there. One’s with my name written all over them. And I can’t wait to meet them.

So, as I hear that door slam shut, I eagerly await the creaking sound of another one opening….

Clapping makes my soul happy, so if you like what you’ve read, clap it! 👏🏻

Hopes & Dreams

Dream and Exceed!

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Belinda B

Written by

Belinda B

Lifelong lover of words, music, travel and all things spooky. Sure, the story has been told before, but not the way I’ll tell it....

Hopes & Dreams

Dream and Exceed!

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