emotion#20: Openness

Photo by the author.

In order for relationships to work, they need to be simple.

Imagine this: you go out for dinner with your lover. He looks at another woman with what you perceive as desire. You feel hurt, jealous, the whole world burning inside your chest.

In that moment, you get to make a choice.

Option 1: You project your emotions. You might sulk, become aggressive, or passively victimize yourself (this last one is usually my personal choice). You encrypt your message, expecting your date to put his superpowers to use and tell you the exact words you long to hear. It’s his responsibility, after all, poor you.

Option 2: You communicate. You tell him “Hey, when you looked at that woman, I felt jealous. I feel sad now. It’s not your fault, but I wanted to share this with you and I would like to process this emotion together.”

There is a special beauty in not speaking each other’s language, because then you strip each conversation to its bare minimum, keeping to the strictly meaningful. Just like there is beauty in translating your heart’s speech into words, or realizing that you are not better or worse than anyone else.