Faithful are the wounds of a friend

The Sandman Montpelier, France August 2010 / gjarchive

The above proverb taken aptly from the Book of Proverbs has been going through my mind today and the last few days.

I lack the ability to switch from having a difficult conversation with someone to being social. This is most acute when there is a power dimension with which you almost always have to work.

Some people we can avoid others we don’t have that option and somehow we have to navigate the relationship. I watch as others can go from confrontation to friendly, not I and if pushed I will hide in politeness.

We all, like the wing mirror of cars, have blind spots so we need faithful friends.

These are people who we know love us or at least wish the best for us and from who we will accept correction.

If we don’t have these faithful friends we are most probably living in a way that at times treats others less than fair.

Perhaps we have a management role if so who are our faithful friends?

Who is around us who will tell us that we are wrong when everyone else is just telling us what we want to hear?

Many years ago I made a decision out of an emotional response. It was a trusted friend who helped me see that it would not be the best decision. Difficult as it was I had to go back to the person I had said yes to and explain that it was not the right decision. They were gracious in accepting my change of heart.

If you matter to me I will tell you what I see particularly if I think you are blind to something. The heart is a great thing though it can also be deceptive, love, a false sense of love or lust can often be the reason.

If our relationship whether professional or person is to be real I will be real with you.

Today after maybe 7 years I found the opportunity to be real with someone. It was a sensitive matter and I had said nothing choosing to wait until the right moment when perhaps the relationship was less sand and more rock. The individual received what I said and we discussed perspectives.

I was left feeling that we had gone deeper in honesty. In a sense, the matter was irrelevant though it became a doorway to a deeper place.

Of course, this means I have to open to those who may hurt me with their truth knowing that they do because they are faithful.