I quit..

Today is a new day.

Credit: Roller Derby On Film

So. I have been making a decision to take a break from Roller Derby since late last year and two nights ago, I finally said enough is enough.

Here is a (very) brief summary:

  • November 2013- Attended first session
  • April 2015- First game
  • November 2015- Skater for both A + B teams
  • 2016- Split co-captaincy for the B team
  • June 2016- Travelled to the USA (Colorado) to play my first big tournament
  • January 2017- A team jammer
  • May 2017- Time for a break

Now, I have many personal achievements from being part of a league for so long. For one, I’ve grown from a quiet, clumsy seventeen year old to a loud, confident skater. I also finally learned how to stop tumbling over my own feet (with and without skates) and that in itself was a major achievement.

However, I had already made up my mind up months ago but the fear of actually picking myself up and crossing that line and let the people who needed to know know I was leaving, kept making me pause.

Each day, my brain kept reminding me: Wait, this is actually official if I do that.

Well, I finally did that.

Since then, I keep waking up excited to properly move on and stop making excuses everytime I was going to be absent from a training session.

Maybe I will return? Who knows. I have my reasons for quitting but for now, they shall remain tucked up with me.

It is hard though.

I’m leaving a sport that has helped shape the person I am today. I have very fond memories of people, events and places that stand out in particular. It comforts me knowing I can keep them forever.

It’s odd to think last year I felt as though I was at the top of my game and nobody could stop me. I lived and breathed Roller Derby and demanded everyone else did too. Of course, I underestimated how quickly things can change.

I am proud of my achievements and though I don’t have an amazing timeline as some others might, I am proud of how far I have come.

But sometimes, you just know it’s time to take a break. Breaks can be healthy. Breaks can be the space you need to develop yourself more. It’s like with any relationship, you need space.

So again, who knows if I will return.

But for now, I am am excited to continue skating but on my own terms.

Thanks for reading my ramble! If you enjoyed this post, please click the heart — I appreciate it.

This post can also be found on my blog: monikaprey.blogspot.co.uk/