Merilyn: A fresh start

‘pop’. A refreshing feeling. The feeling returns. Then there is another time of drought. The refreshing feeling returns steadily, I feel it coursing through me, making me grow. In between these refreshments there are excruciatingly long periods of drought.
‘pop’ I feel something drawing me the way I have been growing. It calls to me and it refreshes me at the same time. It feels nice to be drawn upwards. I feel supported, strengthened, I should continue as I have been. The refreshing periods continue, for some reason these periods also come with a very heavy feeling pushing me down. It forces me into the ground I have sprouted from.
‘pop’ something in me opens, it is trying to catch the warm feeling from the place that is calling to me. It is giving me the same refreshing sensation I get each day. I think it is telling me to keep growing, I am obviously onto something good here. Each cycle is the same. There is warmth, refreshment from.. Under me, then there is cold and then it restarts. I prefer the times of refreshment and warmth, but the cold times remind me of what I love.
‘pop’ another one. In increasingly often times the warmth catchers open now. It is the same feeling as coming out from the darkness. Each time. I am getting used to it, as am I getting used to the cycles. Yet
I feel there is something dark coming, something cold.
Each cycle is a change now. I remember wishing for change. Now I wish things were like they were before, when the cold would subside for warmth. Now the freezing cold subsides for lesser cold and sometimes there is extreme cold. But the extreme cold brings refreshments as well. Although recently the refreshments have become less. They only come each cycle, reminding me that even though the warmth is mostly gone, there is still something wanting me to grow.
I am happy with the thing wanting me to grow. It reminds me of my mission, especially when it gets extremely cold, the thing that wants me to grow reminds me that it is worth fighting through the cold. I can do it, there is still hope. I am becoming stronger myself as well. I wonder. I wonder what the reason is for me having to grow.
My hope is growing now. A few cycles ago the cold had been extreme at all times. I almost did not think I could make it, but now I think warmth is slowly returning. Perhaps it is time for the popping to return as well, I have missed it.
The popping did return and with it a sense of glee. But some time soon the popping reached it`s height again. It diminished and everything started over again. This time, the sensations were a bit less. All the while I was being supported by the refreshments from each cycle.
I have come to call the cycles in which warmth and coldness changes over the smaller cycles, the big cycles. With popping returning and fleeing away with each of the big cycles. I have become stronger. I have also noticed new sensations. Beneath me through the refreshment containers, I can feel things moving over them. They leave footprints and my containers can feel those. This means I am not alone. Also, I now know where the refreshments come from each small cycle, they are from one of these other beings.
It is now the twenty-ninth big cycle, I do not know why I count them. I have discovered a new sensation, I can sense other beings like me around me. First I could only feel my neighbors, now I know there is a whole bunch of me around me and all over the world there are more. I feel happy for having met them, but I also know that others do not have beings giving them refreshments. There are others who are feeling pain, some are being removed from the system, some are sick.
Our group is becoming smaller. The group hates a thing they have started calling humans. I love my human, she has always been kind to me. My group has made a choice after 40 big cycles. They are creating counter measures, they want to fight fire (a thing that sounds terrible and has killed thousands of trees) with fire, as they say. The group has ordered several trees to create seeds that would change the world.
Over the years, my seeds have fallen, but this one was different. I call her, Merilyn.

