The Mirror
Sorry, no Wonderland here, Alice.
Don’t you dare start singing that horrendous Michael Jackson song either.
I’m ok with the Mulan song though. Sing it loud.

After some real life events and always insightful conversation with my real life best friend Becca Jenne and some wonderful conversation and comments by new Medium friend Kim Rowley, a thought occurred to me and I figured I would share it with you, my faithful readers.
Before I get to my sudden wisdom ( bow down to me and offer your gifts of coffee and fine literature) , click those green names up there, after you finish here, and read their writings. I promise you won’t regret it.
I have been thinking about my own life choices and my history of giving advice to others.
I don’t seek it out, but I seem to fall into position that my friends come to me and ask my opinion or advice on things. This has been the trend for many years and continues to this day.
I actually enjoy it, even if I feel I am highly unqualified.
However after some recent events and some conversation with the above folks, I remembered something that I was taught in a counseling class many years ago.
“ You can’t hope to give life advice to others if you can’t get your own life straight”
I likely don’t have this quote correct, but the point is the same.
Let me put it in the terms I came up with last night.
Look in the mirror, do you see the person you like?
Forget how you look, you’re beautiful, trust me.
Do you get along with yourself?
Do you trust yourself?
How about, do you argue with yourself?
Yea I bet you do.
We all do, but how much do you argue with yourself, do you yell at yourself?
If you could break that mirror, would you?
How often do you actually agree with the things you are doing in your life?
Yea, I know I am asking a lot of open questions, but I want you to think about it.
We all want to be able to give advice, be an example, and hope that others respect your opinion, but when your own self is not up to snuff its sort of like trying to drive a car without a steering wheel or brakes.
It sounds selfish, but we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others.
I know I sound uncaring about everyone else, but think about it.
Would you want your kids getting their wisdom from someone who keeps getting into trouble or lies to their own parents?
I thought not.
I’m not saying you need to be perfect, just get your life in order.
If you need help, ask.
If you struggle, talk to someone.
If you can’t figure out what is keeping you down, reach out.
Even if you want to get out of a slump so you can be better for yourself and others, talk to someone.
We can all be better.
Look in the mirror, do you like what you see?
If not, change it.
If so, good, keep on going.
Sometimes it can be hard to get out of our own head. We can scream at ourselves and get nowhere but deeper into our own hole.
People can help. Look to those who are doing well and those you trust.
We can be examples and we can be the help for others, but first let’s help ourselves.
For years I gave advice when my life was a mess, I was tossing my opinion out for at least 14 people at once, and if you’ve read my previous posts, you know how insane that was. Now, I have a very very small circle of people I trust, It suddenly shrunk to one person recently, we share a mutual respect and trust. I love that.
My point is, I may not have my life figured out, but I sure am in a better place now and feel better about offering my two cents.
My mirror is a bit clearer these days, sometimes hazy, but its getting there.


