Things that Fucking Annoy Me

365 Writing Prompt

Photo Credit: Thomas Crapper

I’d like to begin by saying the word fuck is in the writing prompt from the book of prompts I retrieve prompts from.

Next, originally I attempted to find a picture of poop and it amazes me there are so many people who photograph their shit and uploaded it to the internet. I Googled shit and there is 164 pages of it.

Now, on to the prompt. I believe using the word fuck was intended to amplify rage when writing the prompt. I have no intentions of acting with rage but I have no intentions of acting rational either.

  1. I read this 17 step article on how to stop buying too many books. In the past I have made a genuine effort toward all 17 recommended steps and I failed every one of them. I’m currently sitting next to six new books still in their packaging. This article reminded me how frustrated I am with myself.

2. Okay, this is about to get real. I live in a small town. So small it’s not on a map. Not a map of Iowa, not a map of Iowa County, not on a United States map, not on a Doppler Radar map, not on any map at all. If I didn’t live here I wouldn’t even know this town existed, but somehow, someway there is the constant sound of lawn mowers running in every direction from sun up to sun down every day. This annoys me so much I’ve considered going to the microscopic town council to see if they’d be willing to enforce a set time to mow lawns. I think I would have significant evidence. I haven’t exactly done the math yet but I’m convinced there is more mowing then there is grass. Scientifically speaking, it makes no sense why I always hear mowers running.

3. This is the first year fireworks are legal in Iowa. I’m sure you could imagine what that’s been like. Every one, and I mean all of them, have been shooting off fireworks. Amateurs, they’re all amateurs. Twice I’ve had fireworks shot at my house. Once from way off in the distance when a rocket fell over and shot sideways. The second was when teenagers were at the end of my property line shooting fireworks off. Why? Why were they at the end of my property shooting fireworks and possibly torching my house? Luckily they didn’t but I believe the only reason they didn’t is because my husband and I went out there, scared the piss out of them and basically told them to get off our property NOW.

But that’s not even what pisses me off. What pisses me off is that my son isn’t allowed to skateboard anywhere. Each time he does, which is quite often, the police complain to me and threaten to trespass a boy on his skateboard because he’s such a danger to society. Are you kidding? People can shoot fireworks round the clock for two weeks and shoot them directly at my property and house but a boy on his skateboard is a danger? Blow me.

4. I’m sure this one annoys everybody. Why is My Network not the first thing I see in my feed? I don’t care about Popular on Medium or Member’s Only or Handpicked by Medium Staff. If I did I would’ve followed those instead of the writers and publications I enjoy reading, which I’ve been reading a great deal less of because I can’t find them. Instead I’m stuck with this in my feed and by the way, I do all these things and I don’t feel uncomfortable. What a shock. I know myself better than some random person. Whoa.

Not only that but I used to have a least one story a week make it to the homepage because I’m humorous, real and never write listicles unless a writing prompt tells me to. Now I’m lucky if 100 people view my stories and less follow through with reading them. Who decided this? We live in a democracy. Don’t we the writers, that make Medium money, have any say in this?

Okay. Five minutes was up six minutes ago.

End Rant.