Was I A Better Parent Back Then?

They were giggling hysterically, crowded around me, trying to get a good view of my phone as I played old videos from our family blog. My kids were finding their toddler antics to be hilarious. They asked me to play another, and another, and another.

I bet we watched at least a dozen.

As we watched, I noticed something. I seemed happier. I seemed more patient, better at rolling with punches.

I have often said that the older my kids get, the more I enjoy motherhood. So, why then, as I watched these videos, did I feel like I was watching a better version of myself? Why did I seem to be able to enjoy moments in which, these days, I wouldn’t find any joy, at all?

The me-back-then walked upstairs after my daughters’ nap to find one had removed her pants, reached into her diaper, flung the contents on the floor and smeared the rest on her crib. A poopy, smelly mess to clean up on top of two one-year-olds and a three-year-old’s usual post-nap routine to manage. Me-back-then found that amusing enough to grab my camera and film a quick video. Talking in a calm, verge-of-laughter voice, me-back-then recorded the scene and the situation for posterity.

If me-now walked into a scene like that, I would be exasperated. I would be annoyed. I would probably yell but, at very least, I would mumble some…