Know What You Don’t Know (And Be Comfortable With It)
When I was younger, it seemed like my parents knew everything. If I had a question, they almost always had an answer — even if that answer was that they didn’t know. Of course, as an adult, I’ve realized that it’s easy to provide an answer, but that providing an answer doesn’t mean we know it to be true. I don’t know is a difficult thing to say in a world that prizes those people with “all the answers.”
Where not knowing can become uncomfortable is when we feel like others have an expectation of us (like in leadership) to know what to do or what the answer is. These feelings can be further exacerbated when the answer isn’t just something that we’ve simply forgotten, but rather something new or unknown to us.
In reality, there really isn’t much need for this discomfort despite our brains’ best attempts to try and wind us up. Recognize that even though you may be responsible for making the final decision, you don’t have to go through the decision-making process alone. Allow those around you to help and provide their input. No one has the expectation that you should know everything — especially when the problem is not your specialty or unfamiliar.
The past year and a half of this pandemic has been a great example of people being faced with the need to make hugely important decisions without knowing what the “best” or “most correct” decision was. Ultimately, we looked to our leadership to make really tough decisions and to find solutions to problems that didn’t have clear (if any) answers at all. While many leaders required to make these decisions lacked in-depth knowledge of medicine or statistics or virology, many leaders were still able to make well-informed and intentioned decisions for the benefit and well-being of those around them.
Leaders who lack the required knowledge to make the decisions by themselves seek the input and feedback of experts. They set aside their egos and listened to all of the available information from those who knew more. Those who listened to the opinions of experts were not admonished for not knowing everything right away and were actually celebrated for making informed decisions based on the knowledge of experts. Despite the discomfort that these leaders faced, they found a way to become comfortable with not knowing and sought the support of others to help fill in the gaps.
A significant portion of life is spent learning. Whether that be in a classroom, at work, with friends, or by yourself, we are constantly taking in and processing new information. Despite our best efforts to know more, ultimately, we’ll never be able to know everything. So, start getting comfortable with this idea of knowing that you don’t know everything. Understand that not knowing some things is normal, but it’s imperative to remain open to learning from those who do know.
