Pride’s Antidote

“All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong, and repairs the evil. The only crime is pride.” — Sophocles

Recently I was asked to speak on the topic of pride, and this was one of the more difficult subjects to prepare for and teach. I suppose the reason is twofold. First, pride is a complex emotion that can be either positive or negative. Second, pride something I’ve struggled with all my life.

We are told to take pride in our work, in our family, in our school, in our country, and yes, in our TEAM! But we’re also taught that pride is one of the seven deadly sins, that pride goes before destruction, that pride leads to disgrace.

So, what is the correct perspective on pride?

The truth is that PRIDE has two entirely different definitions. “Good” pride is healthy and appropriate; such pride is based on one’s effort as a person and one’s success as a TEAM. Good pride is often the result of achieving extraordinary results after hard work and persistence. Good pride is confidence.

“Bad” pride is selfish and often results in self-destructive behavior. Bad pride is like dripping water. One drop at a time, over time, and eventually you wake up in a place you never thought you would be. The dark side of pride often shows itself when we start comparing our accomplishments to others’ — which often leads to a feeling of superiority. Bad pride is cockiness that replaces confidence.

With that as a backdrop, I attempted to distill some important distinctions between good pride and bad pride using PRIDE as an acronym.

GOOD PRIDE

P — Purpose is larger than you

R — Rests in team success

I — I must become better

D — Deflects credit, praise, and spotlight

E — Ego is the enemy

BAD PRIDE

P — Purpose is centered on you

R — Rests in individual accomplishments

I — I’m good as is (“Superman syndrome”)

D — Demands credit, praise, and spotlight

E — Ego is inflated

Staying on the “good” side of pride is not easy — and is in fact a constant battle. How, then, does one wage war on “bad” pride?

For me, the solution is found in a passage I most often hear shared at weddings. Perhaps you’ve caught it too: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast.” Ring a bell? St. Paul continues, “It (love) does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

And smack dab in the middle of the passage is the phrase, “IT IS NOT PROUD.”

There it is: Love is the antidote for bad pride. For where true love exists, pride is choked out. So if you want to minimize pride on your team, in your company, within your family…you must love others well.