Uncertainty and a Mixed Bag of Emotions
Today is my son’s first day of kindergarten. Well, that is not completely true. He has been attending virtually since August but, today is his first day in the classroom.
This morning, I asked my son, “How are you feeling, buddy?” He said, “I am excited, but scared…”
My wife asked him, “Like, you have butterflies in your stomach?” He simply replied, “Yes.”
Although he said scared, I think my son was actually nervous. He has been riding a wave of uncertainty for a couple of days leading up to going into class. He has conflicting feelings about the situation. Sure, this is normal for a new kindergartener but, this past year has obviously been different — for everyone.
Some of us are eager and excited to get back to “normal”. Others are feeling nervous, anxious, scared, angry, and frustrated. For some of us, we might have several of these feelings. My son isn’t the only one carrying around a mixed bag of emotions.
Everyone’s experience has been different and as we start attending school, playing sports, going into the office, and just being around other people again, we must be supportive of one another. Here are some thoughts on how to do so:
Listen and Observe. Pay attention to verbal and nonverbal cues. My son is normally talkative and very outgoing; however, not so much the last couple of days. He was quiet and seemed to be more reserved than his typical self. Have you noticed any differences in the people around you?
When the time is right, talk about it. Don’t force the conversation, but be ready to talk when the time is right. I told my son two days ago that I noticed he was quieter than normal and asked him if maybe he was a little nervous about going to school. He didn’t want to talk about it, which is fine. Be present and let them know you are available when the time is right.
Show empathy. Understand and share those feelings. Seriously, a lot has happened and will continue to happen in the coming months. This ranges from not being able to see friends and family, not going to the gym, not attending senior prom, not living in the dorms your freshman year, not graduating alongside your classmates, not being able to meet your new coworkers face-to-face in your first job, losing a job, having to isolate for weeks on end, and losing someone close. It should go without saying — show empathy.
So I told my son, “I am always a little nervous when trying something new. You should be nervous, and that is ok. Remember, you are also excited to see old friends, meet new friends, and learn new things.” That is some advice for all of us as we cross into a new world on the backside of this pandemic.
All that said, I can’t wait to pick him up and hear about his first day.
