Traveletists: How to Identify and Avoid Them

Traveletist: A first-time traveller who acts like they’ve travelled the world and are therefore more knowledgeable than you about life and the universe.

Some people travel to see the sights, some to laze on a beach. Some people just want to get away from it all and drink themselves stupid for a while, which is fine too. You do you. The truth is, nobody cares why you’re there. As long as you’re having fun and I’m having fun, we’re good.

The truth is, nobody cares why you’re there.

So that’s the scene. A myriad of backpackers, holidaymakers, and honeymooners enjoying themselves. Unbeknownst to many, lurking around every corner ready to pounce and sanctimoniously preach about their way of life, is what I like to call a ‘Travelitist’. It comes in any form, any gender, and is ruthless in it’s plight. These are the people who have spent a week in Bali or Vietnam and claim to have found some sort of inner serenity and the secrets to life that are locked to you. Only they have the key, the knowledge, the wisdom to advise you on what it is, what it means to travel. What it means to be alive.

Of course most of these people are using their brains for the first time, and have realised there’s more to life than a 9–5, but they always take it a step too far. Here are some guidelines to help you avoid a Travelitist.

4 ways to avoid Travelitists

Note: These aren’t hard and fast rules, but should help to raise your awareness in any given situation.

1. Keep your ears open
   By far the easiest way to identify a Travelitist is to have a keen ear. Perhaps you’re in a beach bar and thinking about ordering another drink and some sweet, soft sounding, words of passion float into earshot. Don’t panic. This could be a couple complimenting each other or a mother talking to a child. Listen carefully for words like ‘ethereal’ and ‘spiritual’. Upon hearing any buzzwords, order the bill and move to the next bar. Congratulations, you’ve just saved 45 minutes of listening to some pseudo life lessons from a 19 year old.
2. Life experience
   Generally speaking, although not always by any means, a Travelitist will be on a gap year, perhaps their only experience of a trip like this. Consequently they tend to be in their late teens or early twenties. Their lack of life experience in some way pardons their delusions of superiority .
3. Location
   Where you are in the world can act as a determiner for how likely you are to find a Travelitist. Australia or anywhere on the South East Asia circuit are the main contenders. Be on your toes in these areas.
4. Image/Appearance
   Occasionally you’ll engage in a conversation with someone without really thinking, after all meeting people while you’re away is fun. Common topics of conversation which will give you some clues are:

Tattoos

Tattoos themselves are great, I have a few myself, but be wary of the stories behind them. Tales of pieces to signify an enlightenment of some sort, or to commemorate their time abroad should be taken with a pinch of salt.

Clothing & Accessories

Anything goes when it comes to fashion when travelling, so this (like the others) is a bit of a loose guideline. Aladdin trousers are a worry, as are an abundance of bracelets and necklaces. Dreadlocks on white people can also be a sign on a Travelitist.

Topics of Conversation

After you’ve gone through the how are you doing’s and where are you from’s, if the conversation steers too much towards how WiFi is bad for the soul or being mindful of this experience, you might be in some trouble. Of course, there may be some merit in exploring these topics with anyone else, but the Travelitist won’t offer any substance to these issues.

Keep in mind that none of these guidelines are foolproof. Be careful not to shun someone who might be awesome but is coincidentally in Cambodia after university, talking about how peaceful it is while wearing whatever they want and sporting a few tats. It’s a tough game. Good luck out there.