Movies From 2013 In One Sentence
Texas Chainsaw 3D — Chainsaw murder, again, in 3D.
A Haunted House — Scary Movie #789.
Gangster Squad — L.A. Noire the movie.
The Last Stand — Schwarzenegger shoots stuff, Knoxville breaks stuff.
Broken City — Not another crooked politician movie.
Hansel & Gretel — Fairy tale you know and love with guns.
Movie 43 — A comedy movie without funny people.
Parker — Jason Statham in another badass movie.
Warm Bodies — Romeo & Juliet with zombies.
Bullet To The Head — Gangs of Rambo.
Identity Thief — Funny only if it’s never happened to you.
Top Gun 3D — 80's movie in 3D.
Die Hard 5 — Bruce Willis gets shot at in Russia.
Escape From Planet Earth — Toy Story with Aliens.
Snitch — The Rock beats up people.
21 & Over — Project X Part 2.
Stoker — Finally a family more messed up than yours.
Jack The Giant Slayer — Fee fi fo dumb.
The Last Exorcism Part II — Some one gets possessed.
Oz, The Great And Powerful — What the hell is going on in Kansas?
Spring Breakers — Justin Bieber’s Ex robs people.
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone — Anchor man with magicians.
The Croods — Ice Age with neanderthals.
Olympus Has Fallen — The White House gets held hostage, yeah right.
Admission — Not another unfunny Paul Rudd movie.
GI Joe 2 — Tatum Channing plays an action figure, AGAIN.
The Place Beyond The Pines — Ryan Gosling out in the woods.
Jurassic Park 3D — Dinosaurs in 3D.
Trance — Rosario Dawson gets revenge and gets naked.
42 — Jackie Robinson good, racism bad.
Scary Movie 5 — Not funny still makes money.
Oblivion — Post-apocalyptic Minority Report with aliens.
Pain & Gain — Scarface with body-builders.
Iron Man 3 — Iron Man movie with 90% less Iron Man.
The Great Gatsby — Titanic meets The Aviator.
Star Trek: Into Darkness — Khaaaaaaaaannnnnn!!!!!!!
Fast & Furious 6 — Fast & Furious one plus The Rock.
The Hangover Part III — The Hangover in Mexico and still not funny.
Now You See Me — It’s okay to steal millions if you know magic.
After Earth — Pursuit of Happiness in space.
The Purge — Anarchy Day celebrations.
The Internship — A movie only people at Google will watch.
Man of Steel — Dark Knight with ads.
This Is The End — Bromance during the Apocalypse.
World War Z — Zombies chase Brad Pitt around the world.
Monsters U — Revenge of the Nerds Pixar style.
The Heat — Sandra Bullock still making movies.
The Lone Ranger — The cowboy version of every Johnny Depp movie.
Despicable Me 2 — Marriage after the baby carriage.
Kevin Hart — Kevin Hart says stuff in a high voice.
Pacific Rim — Transformers with aliens.
Grown Up 2 — Happy Gilmore has mid-life crisis, AGAIN.
R.I.P.D. — Ryan Reynolds ruins Jeff Bridges career.
The Conjuring — Ghost chasers get scared of stuff.
Turbo — Cars with snails.
RED 2 — Geriatric Die Hard meets Mission Impossible, AGAIN.
Only God Forgives — Ryan Gosling gets lost without car in Thailand.
The Wolverine — Sword mutant fights ninjas for maximum awesome.
Smurfs 2 — Blue chipmunks, AGAIN.
2 Guns — Markey Mark and Training Day team up.
Sharknado — Enough Said.
Percy Jackson 2: Sea Of Monsters — Zeus’ kid fights sea monsters.
Planes — Cars with airplanes.
Elysium — District 9, 4 years in the future.
We’re The Millers — Jason Sudeikis saves Jennifer Aniston’s career.
Kick Ass 2 — Super hero movie without super heroes, AGAIN? Really?
The Butler — Forrest Whitaker in The White House.
JOBS — Ashton Kutcher makes Steve Jobs look like a bigger douchebag.
One Direction: This Is Us — Justin Bieber movie x 4.
