12 Country Songs Memorializing Made-Up Tragedies

All proceeds go to charity. As far as you know.

Joseph Thomas
Feb 24, 2017 · 1 min read
  1. The Day the Corvettes Cried by Luke Bryan — the Bowling Green Massacre
  2. Hergin Flergin in the Bergin by Kelly Pickler (feat. the Swedish Chef) — the Swedish Terror Attack
  3. Burn It to the Ground by Toby Keith — the Existence of Chicago as a U.S. City
  4. One Less Portland by Kenny Chesney — the Mysterious Disappearance of Portland, Maine
  5. Bourne in Our Hearts by Martina McBride — Matt Damon’s Helicopter Crash, Multiple Surgeries, Coma, and Death
  6. Suburban Ohio Sunset by Alan Jackson — the Akron Children’s Place Sniper
  7. Hot Dog by Eddie Arnold — the Death of the Original Lassie by Lightning Strike
  8. Franky Took Franky by Rascal Flatts — Franklin Graham’s Conversion to Catholicism
  9. Never Fly Back Again by Pam Tillis — Jessica’s Bangs of 1998
  10. Patriot Pants by John Conlee — the Death of Apollo Creed
  11. Remember the Alamocha by Colin Ray — Davy Crockett’s Failed Coffee Shop
  12. Blowhole by Big & Rich — the Seattle Suicide Bomber Inside the Great Seattle Sinkhole

How Pants Work

Inseamly humor.

Joseph Thomas

Written by

Memphis, TN humor writer for Robot Butt, The Second City, Redeye Chicago, How Pants Work, Slackjaw, & The Establishment. Check it: http://josephthomascomedy.com

How Pants Work

Inseamly humor.

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