12 Country Songs Memorializing Made-Up Tragedies

All proceeds go to charity. As far as you know.

Joseph Thomas
Feb 24, 2017 · 1 min read
  1. The Day the Corvettes Cried by Luke Bryan — the Bowling Green Massacre
  2. Hergin Flergin in the Bergin by Kelly Pickler (feat. the Swedish Chef) — the Swedish Terror Attack
  3. Burn It to the Ground by Toby Keith — the Existence of Chicago as a U.S. City
  4. One Less Portland by Kenny Chesney — the Mysterious Disappearance of Portland, Maine
  5. Bourne in Our Hearts by Martina McBride — Matt Damon’s Helicopter Crash, Multiple Surgeries, Coma, and Death
  6. Suburban Ohio Sunset by Alan Jackson — the Akron Children’s Place Sniper
  7. Hot Dog by Eddie Arnold — the Death of the Original Lassie by Lightning Strike
  8. Franky Took Franky by Rascal Flatts — Franklin Graham’s Conversion to Catholicism
  9. Never Fly Back Again by Pam Tillis — Jessica’s Bangs of 1998
  10. Patriot Pants by John Conlee — the Death of Apollo Creed
  11. Remember the Alamocha by Colin Ray — Davy Crockett’s Failed Coffee Shop
  12. Blowhole by Big & Rich — the Seattle Suicide Bomber Inside the Great Seattle Sinkhole

How Pants Work

Inseamly humor.