I Know You’re Busy, But…

Gavin needs to have a meeting with you.

Your calendar is entirely blocked out today from 8 am – 8 pm, but Gavin needs to meet with you.

Can you confirm that the 1 hour WIP meetings you already have with Gavin from 8–9, 9–10, 10–11, 11–12, 12:15–1, 2-3, 3-4, 4-5, and 5-6, and the 6-8pm telephone meeting with Gavin while he drives home and has a shower, have all been confirmed by Gavin? Are any of these slots available for you and to have a different meeting with Gavin?

Gavin wants to be across everything that you are doing.

What about the slot in your calendar you’ve defined as “Lunch” from 12 – 12:10 pm— is that available to Gavin? Could Gavin have 5 minutes of that? You could still have you lunch, just bring your food into the meeting. Gavin is interested to know what you are having for lunch. Can also I tack on an additional 7 minutes to the end of this meeting so that Gavin can watch you finish your lunch and ask you if it’s good? And if it is good, can Gavin have a bite? This extension will make you 2 minutes late for the short Admin meeting you have with Gavin at 12:15 – 1 pm. Is that okay?

Also, the 1 – 2 pm meeting you’ve labeled “Gym”: Is that a WIP thing? Gavin wants to know. Gavin is wondering if GYM is an acronym he doesn’t know or does it mean you are going to do a spin class? If so, Gavin will join you.

If any of these meetings cause you to be short capacity, then Gavin authorizes you to create extra time in your workday by cutting out coffee making, standing motionless in the elevator, and using the bathroom.

Gavin also wants you to come into work earlier for a half-hour meeting at 7:15 am so that Gavin can talk banally with you for a while before work. No set agenda.

Gavin also wants another meeting with you at 7:45 am to talk about Game of Thrones season 7, and why isn’t the Mother of Dragons getting naked anymore? Gavin wants this to be a weekly meeting.

Gavin also wants me to organize daily pre-meetings with you at 7:10 am which will be a Good Morning meeting, where you say, “Good Morning” to each other. Can I put this in your calendar? Along with a two minute de-brief in which you will have it blocked out in your calendar to stop when he passes you in the hallway and asks, “How are you?” and you have to look him in the eye and say, “Great” instead of just walking past him.

Then he would like an additional 10 minutes following that in which the two of you will converse as if you are friends — the kind of friends who will stay in touch with each other after you retire — and also on the agenda of that meeting are the following topics: “Did you just go to Starbucks?” “Is that a latte?” “Is it good?” “Can I have a sip?” “Do you want the rest?” “What are you doing this weekend?” “It’s cold outside today, isn’t it?” “Want to get a craft beer tonight?” “Tomorrow night?” “Friday or this weekend?” and to talk about how you rock as individuals and especially how Gavin does.

Gavin also wants me to block out a meeting at the end of this meeting which he is not sure how long it will go for, but could be a while, the purpose of which is for him answer the question “How are you Gavin?”

Also I can see that you’ve blocked out 21 hours from 9 pm tonight for “Wife in Labor. Birth of First Child,” but can I get a fifteen-minute time slot between contractions? Can your wife contract at, say, 9 pm, and then you join Gavin on a call to discuss how the birth is going, and if your wife is going to end up having to have a Cesarean or is going to be able to birth vaginally. Gavin also wants to finalize what time should he meet you for a craft beer on Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday afternoons?

PS: If you bring your lunch in from home tomorrow then can you put it in disposable tupperware, and are you okay to label it “Gavin’s Lunch”?

PPS: Gavin recommends that you stay up the head end during the birth.