How to Resist Trump If You Are Socially Anxious and Depressed
Clinically or otherwise
The rise of authoritarianism in America is perhaps the greatest challenge many of us have faced in our lives. By now, cold reality has set in and it is clear that lovers of freedom, democracy, and equality must fight to protect our most sacred ideals. While there have been many excellent articles written about how best to resist Trump’s agenda, few tell you what to do if you want to help out, but are riddled with social anxiety and depression. Here are a few tips if you are in this unenviable situation.
Remember how the safety announcement on airplanes always says that if the cabin loses pressure and the oxygen masks drop from the ceiling you should put on your mask before assisting others? Live that! Really. Take that mask you keep beside your bed in case of panic attacks, put it on, and let the oxygen flow. This is not the time to be a hero. I mean, it is, but let’s be honest, the hero isn’t going to be you. If you can’t even go through the drive thru at McDonald’s without freaking out, how do you expect to deter fascism?
Lie in bed all day thinking about calling your representatives
It seems like you can’t logon Twitter these days without people screaming at you to call your representatives in congress. “It is the most important and effective action you can take,” they say. Fine, you can do this! You can definitely lie in your bed all day thinking about all the things that could go wrong when you call. Remember that time you called your senator to ask him to vote in favor of background checks for gun sales but you couldn’t think of the word “gun” so you stammered for like a minute then hung up? Of course you do. The staffer who answered that call is probably still laughing at you.
Type out a few passionate anti-Trump posts on Facebook and save them to your drafts for later
Seriously, how could people not see how terrible this all is? Your oblivious friends are still checking into the Farmer’s Market on Saturday morning and sending out alcoholic brunch pictures every Sunday as if the earth wasn’t crumbling beneath our feet! You’ll show them. These well-crafted and forceful status updates will open their eyes and finally turn the fascist tide. If, that is, you ever actually post them. Spoiler alert: you won’t. Even the thought of being trolled by some right wing guy you knew from high school makes you curl up into a ball and hyperventilate a little.
Look up the time and place for a local political meeting and put it in your calendar
An hour or two before the meeting decide not to go because your migraine flared up again. Alternatively, drive to the meeting, drive past the meeting, turn around and drive past the meeting from the other direction. Repeat four or five times. Next, park in front of the meeting place, sit in your car for fifteen minutes, then drive home and lie on the couch.
Eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s because you support their progressive politics and because you are sad
Ice cream is one of the only things that makes you feel anything anymore. Sure, what you feel is self-loathing, but it still counts. Surely Ben & Jerry’s progressive corporate ethos will make you feel just a tiny bit better about your inability to take any meaningful action? Doubtful.
Get a #RESIST tattoo on your forearm
Think about just how epic this is going to be. Each morning when you wake up and reach for your anti-depressants, the symbol of the struggle will be right there, emblazoned on your very skin. Yes, people might judge you silently and talk about you behind your back, but if there is one thing you are ready for, it is thinking that people are judging you silently and talking about you behind your back. Let’s go! Now, whatever you do, don’t think about having to make small talk with the tattoo artist. Oh…
Watch a march or protest online and think about how you should be there
Look at all those people out there in the streets standing up for humanity. That could be you; if only you weren’t so worried about looking silly in front of a large group of people you’ve never met. You definitely could have made a sign that was both withering and witty. Too bad you are here in your apartment wrapped in a Snuggie™ watching the protest on your phone. I guess aggressively liking the live feed counts for something. By the way, did you know that phone you’re using was probably made by a child laborer? Shh. Go to sleep now. It will all be okay in four years or after you die alone.