I’m a Real Marketing Person, and I Can Prove It With These Creative Names I’ve Given Everyday Items

And this is just a sampling!

Joseph Thomas
Mar 30, 2017 · 1 min read
  1. Cigarettes: Sexy Smoke Sticks
  2. Sofa: Loungeus Maximus
  3. Vacuum Cleaner: Dirt-Goes-Away
  4. Television: Color Moving Picture Box
  5. Light Bulb: ’Lumination Orb
  6. Parking Garage: Car Motel
  7. Whiskey: Tipsy Brown
  8. Grass: Yard Carpet
  9. Helmet: Head Protector Extraordinaire
  10. Surgery: Luxury Body Slicing
  11. Popsicle: Cold Solid Juice
  12. Fire Extinguisher: Foamy White Dispenser
  13. Chair: Human Holder
  14. Coffee Table: Li’l Surface
  15. Trash Can: Paper Hole
  16. Coffee: Wakey Sip-Sip
  17. Wheel: Roll-About
  18. Log: Tree Torso
  19. Bear: Cute ’n’ Deadly
  20. Gloves: Hand Coats

How Pants Work

Inseamly humor.

Sign up for Fly Paper

By How Pants Work

Dispatches from How Pants Work HQ Take a look

By signing up, you will create a Medium account if you don’t already have one. Review our Privacy Policy for more information about our privacy practices.

Check your inbox
Medium sent you an email at to complete your subscription.

Joseph Thomas

Written by

Memphis, TN humor writer for The Weekly Humorist, Robot Butt, Points in Case, How Pants Work, & Slackjaw. http://josephthomascomedy.com

How Pants Work

Inseamly humor.

Joseph Thomas

Written by

Memphis, TN humor writer for The Weekly Humorist, Robot Butt, Points in Case, How Pants Work, & Slackjaw. http://josephthomascomedy.com

How Pants Work

Inseamly humor.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch

Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore

Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store