Other Things Georgia Governor Brian Kemp Just Learned in the Last 24 Hours

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Stealing elections has consequences.

On Wednesday, Governor Brian Kemp finally announced a stay-at-home order for Georgia. While making the announcement, Kemp claimed he had only learned within the past 24 hours that Coronavirus can be transmitted by people who do not show any symptoms.

“There’s a bedsheet below and a bedsheet above me. I’m the meat in a sheet sandwich!”

“This treadmill’s not going anywhere, is it.”

“Who cares what’s it’s called? This brush works on multiple teeth.”

“A Black fella somehow got into that ‘Old Town Road’ song.”

“A little sugar makes coffee tastier, but too much sugar? Whoa, Nelly!”

“So you’re telling me it’s not called a ‘Vanilla folder?’”

“There’s a whole country in Russia that stole our name!”

“Wait, we lost the Civil War?!”

“Trans people sure do like to use bathrooms…”

“Nobody actually lives in a Waffle House.”

“Turns out the Bible doesn’t even mention Jesus’ gun collection.”

“If you say ‘Impeachment Hoax’ three times, all the masks and ventilators you need appear by magic.”

“Get this: You can win at golf by getting the lowest score.”

“Bruce Willis was dead the whole time in that movie ‘Die Hard.’”

“That loud blonde lady on FoxNews is actually several different women.”

“Why, a cigar is nothing but a fat cigarette!”

“To understand Covid-19, you do not need to have seen Covids 1–18.”

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Sheryl Zohn

Written by

Sheryl Zohn is a writer based in Los Angeles. She is the co-host of the humorous podcast series “Who’s Next Door.” http://www.whosnextdoorpodcast.com

How Pants Work

Inseamly humor.

Sheryl Zohn

Written by

Sheryl Zohn is a writer based in Los Angeles. She is the co-host of the humorous podcast series “Who’s Next Door.” http://www.whosnextdoorpodcast.com

How Pants Work

Inseamly humor.

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