The AmerAir Airlines Difference:
All the Benefits of Flying First Class With Us
• That little curtain that separates First Class from the rest of the cabin? At the end of each flight, a flight attendant will cut it into little pieces and every First Class Passenger gets to keep one.
• Introducing Oxygen 2.0 (TM).
• All the jet fuel you can drink.
• More leg room, more arm room, and a spare bedroom that you can convert into a sewing room or “craft corner.”
• It’s not okay to call one of our flight attendants a “stewardess,” but they’ll call you that, if that’s what you’re into.
• First Class Passengers under the age of 10 receive a wings pin and a vinyl copy of Aerosmith’s seminal 1974 album Get Your Wings.
• First Class Passengers receive a complimentary neck pillow filled with a choice of egg or potato salad.
• A cast member of Alice on every flight. Guaranteed.
• A photo opportunity with The Creature on the Wing.
• Feel like being tickled? Just press your call button, and the pilot will come tickle you.
• There’s a pudding compartment in the arm rest. It never gets empty.
• An in-flight lecture from a scientist on what clouds are, and how they work.
• Every First Class Passenger gets to violate one FAA regulation of their choice.
• Showers are available, and are mandatory.
• Skip the lines at the airport, and the airport entirely. First Class Passengers enjoy door-to-door service.
• First Class Passengers enjoy the use of a foam “№1!” finger with which they can use to swat at coach passengers who attempt to use the First Class restroom.
• One free glass of white wine.