The AmerAir Airlines Difference:

All the Benefits of Flying First Class With Us

• That little curtain that separates First Class from the rest of the cabin? At the end of each flight, a flight attendant will cut it into little pieces and every First Class Passenger gets to keep one.

• Introducing Oxygen 2.0 (TM).

• All the jet fuel you can drink.

• More leg room, more arm room, and a spare bedroom that you can convert into a sewing room or “craft corner.”

• It’s not okay to call one of our flight attendants a “stewardess,” but they’ll call you that, if that’s what you’re into.

• First Class Passengers under the age of 10 receive a wings pin and a vinyl copy of Aerosmith’s seminal 1974 album Get Your Wings.

• First Class Passengers receive a complimentary neck pillow filled with a choice of egg or potato salad.

• A cast member of Alice on every flight. Guaranteed.

• A photo opportunity with The Creature on the Wing.

• Feel like being tickled? Just press your call button, and the pilot will come tickle you.

• There’s a pudding compartment in the arm rest. It never gets empty.

• An in-flight lecture from a scientist on what clouds are, and how they work.

• Every First Class Passenger gets to violate one FAA regulation of their choice.

• Showers are available, and are mandatory.

• Skip the lines at the airport, and the airport entirely. First Class Passengers enjoy door-to-door service.

• First Class Passengers enjoy the use of a foam “№1!” finger with which they can use to swat at coach passengers who attempt to use the First Class restroom.

• One free glass of white wine.

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