Road Of The Lonely Ones — Madlib
A frank, knowing glare at loneliness by choice.
Certainly my lack of fixation on a love that lasts,
Has led me to have a colourful past,
But at present I have found that even to search,
Would be a waste on my part.
Being an established auto-didact,
As well as being unable to forcefully interact,
Mean I can hardly get it up without initial and profound brain contact,
I’ll either start out an emotional sponge and you’ll eventually make me a door-mat,
Or vice versa… an undesirable fact.
So I pick and I choose, whims at work,
Hearts I reshape in time to my own melancholic one’s tune, leaving their owners stuck,
Sometimes emotions get stirred up,
Hurt.
One time, just one time, I thought I’d found the one,
But now that concept seems absurd,
If this life blesses me with children,
They’ll be learning more than just hegemonic and dated ideas on monogamy from this Muthee (you’re allowed to sneer here)
To the extent that my influence counts, I want them to learn that choice is the first rule of freedom,
though maybe I’ll find out another way to make it sound less arbitrary,
I’d like them to know that to fully command your agency,
Involves being shunned and made fun of,
Being insulted and cat-called,
Being challenged and harangued all day long,
And that to be different in any way that challenges *m*ores and *n*orms,
Will leave your wake with many waiting to settle scores.
I’d like them to see my mistakes in as plain view as I do,
And break them down for me with astute wisdom beyond their years upon review,
I want them to know that for me, until circa April 2020,
All I could think about was how I’d mind my p’s and q’s while still expressing myself honestly,
Until I realised the code meant by that for me was (p)rotect your tran(q)uility…
I’m sure life will slap my idea around, since no plan survives contact with reality,
But at least, wearing my heart on my sleeve and jamming to some Madlib,
I put this out there and created accountability…
Now, still wanna date me?
Yours (when you let me be)
Evans Campbell.
