Why we need to get better at managing our own issues with conflict before trying to sort our our kids’ fights.
I’ve been teaching conflict and communication to people for years, in all sorts of challenging corporate environments.
I’ve had people walk out of workshops and unhappy stakeholders shout at each other across the boardroom table.
Before my corporate days, I worked in security and had to talk down angry, often intoxicated punters from hurting themselves or other people.
It’s been nuts, at times.
But it’s still my home life where I’ve hit my limitations the hardest and had to learn the most, particularly with my children.
One key lesson for me has been: let my kids fight.
Why I intervene and what they learn
It’s so tempting to wade in when they start arguing — I find it irritating and frustrating to hear them shouting at each other.
I just want some peace and harmony in the house and for them to be kind to one another.
But I’ve come to realise that every time I get involved, I disempower them and stunt their emotional development.
At the time, I think I’m helping them. I think that they need me to tell them what’s *really*…
