Howl
An Argument for More Nipple Play in the Bedroom
How nipple stimulation can increase sexual pleasure and intimacy between partners
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I’ve never understood why porn tends to treat the nipple like an afterthought — just a little knob to suck or pull at a random moment during thrusting.
This, to me, is such a failure to explore a treasure trove of potential pleasure in the bedroom. Some of us have incredibly sensitive breasts and nipples and the stimulation of these areas is essential for us to have a good sexual experience.
If you haven’t been attending to your lover’s nipples, let me convince you why you should:
Relaxation
Stimulating the nipples releases oxytocin, which helps increase relaxation. One former partner of mine used to initiate sex by kissing me softly, then stroking my breasts, and later, my nipples. I found this to be incredibly relaxing and it helped me let go of the day’s stress and focus on the present moment.
Connection
Oxytocin also increases feelings of bonding and connection between people, which is for many an important ingredient in the sexual experience. Even in a one night stand, we are looking to connect.
I find that breast and nipple play create an intense experience of intimacy in the bedroom. A partner sucking on my nipples feels even more intimate to me than oral sex. It also helps me build trust and intimacy in ways that most other sexual acts just don’t.
Foreplay
Here’s a secret if you haven’t figured this out yet: Many, many women get juiced up pretty quickly when you play with her breasts and nipples. My first boyfriend and I were both virgins when we met and somehow, I was able to overcome my shyness and show him how much I enjoyed it when he touched my nipples during foreplay.
One night, while we were watching a movie, he slid his hand beneath my shirt and gave my nipple a gentle squeeze. I thought he would leave it at that, but he kept going, touching, rubbing, squeezing, and stroking throughout the entire movie. Let’s just say I had my panties off as soon as the final scene faded out.
Orgasm Assistance
As every woman knows, it is not uncommon to “lose” an orgasm. We can be in the middle of the most intense sexual experience, climbing assuredly toward climax, and then suddenly, just like that, our orgasm escapes in a puff a smoke.
I experienced this with a partner I had when I was in my thirties, and knowing how much I enjoyed nipple stimulation, he bent his head and began sucking on my nipple as we continued to strive toward climax. Sure enough, this little act of assistance helped me find that supposedly lost orgasm. And whenever one seemed to disappear on me after that, my partner knew exactly where to go to find it: my nipple.
Stronger Orgasms
Stimulating the nipples often increases an orgasm’s intensity. I find that it creates a full-body experience that hits me from head to toe in ways other orgasms can’t. I’m not a big fan of oral sex because the lack of breast stimulation makes for a watered down orgasm. One former partner was shocked when I asked for a hand job (while he sucked on my nipples) instead of the oral sex he offered. As I explained to him, nothing gets me off harder than having my clit and nipples simultaneously stimulated.
Of course, there are those who have little to no nipple sensitivity, those who are so incredibly sensitive they don’t want to be touched in that area, and even those who haven’t realized the joys of nipple stimulation.
Ask questions. Be curious. Explore.
© Yael Wolfe 2019
