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Howl
Mothers Are Sexual Beings — Get Over It
Women can’t be sexually liberated until mothers are able to express their sexuality without shame
“I can’t have sex.”
I stopped bouncing my friend’s 6 month old baby on my knee and looked up at this abrupt change in the conversation.
“Why? Did something go wrong…?” I let my voice trail off, not wanting to pry too far into her personal business.
“No, no,” she said, shifting in her seat. “I’m fine now, everything’s…good.” She made a gesture toward her lap, as if to illustrate her words. “I just can’t do it anymore.”
“I can understand that,” I said. “When was the last time you slept through the night? I’m guessing you’re exhausted. Who wants to have sex when they’re exhausted?”
“No.” My friend shifted again, looking increasingly uncomfortable. “I can’t…think of myself that way anymore. I can’t do those things anymore.” She glanced at her baby, her voice lowering yet again. “I’m a mother, now.”
It wasn’t the first time I had heard a female friend say that, nor would it be the last. I also had a friend who stopped letting her husband touch her breasts after she became a mother because “those were for the baby, now.” She said it…
