Howl
Stop Asking Us About Our Pubic Hair
Our appearance is not up for discussion
Most of my sexual partners have expressed, at one point or another, their desire to be with a woman who has no visible body hair. Though I haven’t had a lot of partners, the fact that so many of them preferred a waxed canvas had me worried that it was becoming a mainstream expectation.
This was a problem for me on many levels. For one thing: I don’t wax. No way. I tried a couple of times —just on my legs — and it hurt so badly, I could hardly bear it. The thought of doing that to my armpits or vulva was unappealing, to say the least.
Further, I never enjoyed having men tell me how they want me to look. After all, I’ve never made requests of lovers to change their appearance, nor has that even occurred to me. Their bodies belonged to them, and it never crossed my mind to ask them to make alterations for the sake of my sexual preferences.
So why, I thought again and again, should I have to do something so painful — and so costly ($50-$100 every 3–4 weeks) — just so my partner can pretend he’s fucking a porn actress? None of my partners would have had their pubes ripped out by the roots for me, after all. I mentioned that once to one of them and he immediately placed his hands over his crotch and said, “No way…
