The double standard for start-ups
I worked full-time while going to night class to get my MBA (please note: I graduated with a 3.0, so don’t expect this to be grammatically correct). Does that make me special? Nope, but I do have to say my friends and family were very supportive of it - the question is why?
There were many weekends during my MBA where I wouldn’t go out because of work and school. No one ever gave me grief or a guilt trip — to cut the story short, I graduated in four years while working full-time and paid for it myself, but that’s not where it ends.
A few years after graduation, I (and Joshua Womack) started Laugh Staff, a startup that uses comedians to help people write wedding speeches. Everyone was very excited for me and supportive with this new shiny company I was starting…for about 3–4 months. However, 3.5 years later, people don’t find it acceptable to spend time on my computer each weekend trying to grow Laugh Staff and it’s frustrating.
There are few points I want to make that are very important:
- You don’t get to decide what dream you support.
When I tell people I can’t hang out on the weekends because I have “work” and then they ask if it’s my “real work”, it’s followed by them trying to tell me I’m a bad friend or family member. Keep in mind only a few short years ago if I simply replaced “work” with “I’m studying for my MBA”, it was an acceptable excuse. So I like to remind them that they are the bad friends and family members (okay, I don’t do that, I’m just trying to sound tough — I just smile and move on).
The take away is this, you should support my career regardless of what I’m doing — even if it doesn’t fit traditional norms.
2. You can’t define how I measure success and it doesn’t matter.
Many people ask how much money the company is making (I hope this is surprising, but it’s a question that comes up a lot). The best part about a startup is you do it because you love it, otherwise it would never work (unless you financially crush it upfront, but even then I would guess you would burn out — I say guess because I’m not financially crushing it and I love what I do). The process of creating a company and the “work” we do is what I enjoy. Yes, I want to make money from it, but no, it will not be the next Facebook or Uber for many reasons: 1. I’m not smart enough 2. I’m not smart enough to think of more reasons 3. I don’t have the desire to take over the world, just make a few people laugh and be my own boss someday — which leads me to my third point…
3. Success doesn’t happen overnight and just because it hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean I’ll give up on it now.
It took me four years to get my MBA and I never remember one person saying “it’s taking you a long time you should really think about giving it up, it’s a real time and money pit”. However, you would be amazed at how many people will (whether directly or not) say this to me regarding my startup.
Here is the deal too, I’m not betting my entire life on Laugh Staff, mainly because I’m married and a have a commitment to my wife to provide for her. It’s not fair for me to quit my job and chase my passion, what is fair is that I work 9–5, take care of her, then come home and work my ass of on Laugh Staff. And when I’m not doing that I’m spending meaningful time with her. What gets lost in this scenario is that I chose to give up other things at this point in my life such as: friends, family time, travel, fantasy football (you don’t know how much this hurts), etc.
4. I’ve changed and that’s okay.
In college and my 20’s, nothing was more important than my friends, but my goals and priorities have changed (as well as the sporadic nature of my back hair). I still want you to be my friend and ‘I love you man’, but I also hate the fact I had to miss out on some major life events because I couldn’t get off work(real work). Also, the fact I had to move 8 hours away from my family to get a “real” job. My goal of working for myself is bigger than ‘being my boss’; it’s about having control over my time and my life. I’m willing to put the work in now for a chance at that lifestyle.
5. My risks are not your risks.
Lastly, I know I may fail and I don’t care. It’s my life, my time, and my money (I sound like the ultimate millennial) — I am chasing a lifestyle and building a company that makes people laugh and reduces public speaking anxiety; this is something I’m 100% comfortable with.
So in closing, I have advice for people who are in one of three categories:
Entrepreneur (or want to be one…cough cough me!) — surround yourself with people who support you. Also, don’t feel guilty saying no to friends and family to chase your dream. As Gary Vaynerchuk has stated many times, it sucks if your family doesn’t support you, but it’s YOUR life (if you read nothing else from this post, please check out Gary Vaynerchuk — he will change your life)
People thinking about chasing the dream — do it! If you fail you’ll still be where you are now, but without regret (the Gary V is coming out in me right now). Lastly, don’t get advice from people who haven’t done what you want to do.
Family and Friends of a Entrepreneur — whether it’s going to night school or doing an etsy project on the weekend, you don’t get to decide how someone betters their life; you only get to decide if you’re going to positively impact their life, not how they impact yours.
Please drop comments below and thank you for reading. For those who don’t know me, I’m the co-founder of Laugh Staff and just a guy trying to start a company that allows comedians to chase their dream while I chase mine. I constantly misspell and leave words out of my writing and work hard to eliminate the errors, but sometimes my southeast Ohio education prevails despite auto-corrects best attempts. I’m extremely grateful for all the content on Medium. I promise to keep my story going and hope you enjoy my writing. Luckily, I’m not in this journey alone thanks to all the great people in my life and online who I’ve never met but put out content that inspires and educates — for that I thank you.
