Thanks for the memories 2014, but 2015 is going to be even better.
2014 has been a pretty great year.
It saw the arrival of our first child in March, a beautiful, healthy little girl called Aurielle. The arrival of my 30th birthday and all the frivolity, anxiety and perspiration which came with it. Our arrival in Australia for a once in a lifetime adventure down under and a whole new adventure at home in the shape of Impact Hub Birmingham. This is my look back at the year with all the highlights and lowlights of 12 months of significant but exciting change in our life.
It year started off with unemployment. After four and half years in a comfortable job as an Intelligence Analyst I needed a new challenge. I had given my all to the role and had hoped to help shape and guide West Midlands police in a more dynamic, equitable way. Unfortunately this challenge turned up to be much bigger than I imagined and for my own sanity it actually made more sense to step into an world of unknowns and unemployment.
Luckily this didn't last long and before long I had landed a great role as a Barista with a brand new independent coffee shop, Faculty Coffee. This was a fantastic opportunity and gave me the opportunity to learn a whole boat load of new skills whilst working with some awesome people. It was so nice to work in such a interesting environment where everyone was curious to try new things and think about making things better rather than dwelling on ‘The good old days’.
Before I could get too settled behind the bar Faculty our life soon flipped right ride, in March our little bundle of joy, Aurielle made an appearance after a rather long labour. It’s pretty difficult to explain the whole cocktail of emotions you go through during those first few weeks. And yet I fondly remember sitting on the couch helping her get to sleep whilst watching cycling, wondering how the hell I was going to be a father. I still think this most days and try my best to guess but fatherhood it turns out is a constant learning experience. Maybe one day I’ll figure out what I’m doing but for now I’m happy to enjoy watching her grow and develop. The little toothy smiles and kisses through the snot melt your heart, and soon wipe the memory of broken sleep and crying fits. Sort of.
Unlike the unpredictable nature of caring of a newborn the plodding nature of time meant that in June I turned 30. An age which has in the past held significance for a lot of people but it was never really the idea of turning 30 that bothered me. I see 30 as a great age to blossom and expand your world in exciting new directions. For me 30 was tough for much more personal reasons. Five years ago my elder brother unexpectedly passed away at the age of 30. Only a couple of months after I’d last seen him. On his 30th birthday. The shock of him dying at such a young age still lingers and the feeling I had when I first heard the news was complete disbelief. The fact that he died from a Pulmonary Embolism, a condition I'm predisposed to, also threw in a whole lot of anxiety about turning 30. I tried my best to rationalise these thoughts and even undertook a photo project. 30 in 30 on 30 for 30. 30 photos in 30 days on a 30mm lens for my 30th birthday. It helped me think about all the things I can be thankful of and was a fantastic experience. But despite this and a beautiful ride through the Welsh countryside followed by a lovely holiday in Snowdonia something still wasn't right.
In July, shortly after the anniversary of Matthew’s death I was clinically diagnosed with depression. A very tough moment. And yet, it was a crucial moment which helped to turn me around. It gave me a sense of relief that what I feeling wasn’t just because I was lazy, incompetent or worthless. That there was a chance to be happier, more content and have a greater impact in the world. Depression is one of those illnesses that never truly goes away, this cartoon about the Black Dog is a great analogy, instead you learn to live with it and learn ways to stop it from stopping you.
And this is what I'm now learning to do, through Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and incredible support from family and friends I can allow my past to guide me rather than hold me back.
It wasn't long before this new attitude was tested. A trip to Australia is probably on a lot of people’s bucket lists and yet I was terrified of it. Not Australia itself but the huge flight that was necessary to get there. Flying being one of the biggest risk activities for people prone to blood clots and the aforementioned Pulmonary Embolism.
Luckily, there were no issues. The flight was largely uneventful, except for trying to look after a six month old on an Airbus for 24 hours.
Once we arrived and got over the jet-lag Australia was full of amazing sights, koalas, mountains, coffee, cuisine, beaches and architecture. The time we spent there with my Sister-in-Law and Brother-in-Law was very precious and will live long in my memory. The opportunity to relax, try new things and take lots of pictures help to cement some of the learning from the CBT course.
I returned back in the UK full of energy, enthusiasm and excitement. Despite working on Impact Hub Birmingham for over a year we always knew the end of 2014 was going to be a busy time for us all. And so it has been. The team have achieved a huge amount amongst a fair share of turmoil. We are now in such a strong position as a confirmed Impact Hub Initiative with a great new space, a thriving community and a whole heap of support for our Kickstarter. But we still need your help, I believe 2015 can be an incredible year for Birmingham. It would be amazing if one of the great features in the ‘Best of 2015' lists this time next was not the new John Lewis but instead a look back at the incredible progress of Impact Hub Birmingham.
