I spent 6 months figuring out my story. You should too.
Last summer, I joined the first ever #PowerLab, a learning marathon run by Enrol Yourself where you join 11 strangers to each embark on a learning exploration. Honestly, it was one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time.
About two months in, our facilitator Dave asked me “but where are you in your question?”.
I was a bit taken aback. It was my learning question. I was doing it. How could it not have me in it?
Even though my exploration of stories and power was big and bold and about questioning the structures we exist within and how we challenge them, it was fundamentally about me. I was giving myself a space for critical self reflection that I’d never had before, whilst trying to test ways to give other people the same feeling — be that through interviews, pop-up studio sessions, or creative workshops. I ended up creating Life In Progress to continue this mission.
We culminated our marathon with a showcase. And when invited to write and speak about my experience, I decided to pen my younger self a letter:
Dear 2009 Edith,
Hello from 2019! You’re 24. You live in London, doing things that really matter. People respect and listen to what you have to say. The furies you feel about the injustices in the world lay the foundations for a beautiful, eclectic career, and opportunities to befriend people as curious, sensitive, and excited by the world as you are. Hang tight, aite?
Be careful about the stories you tell yourself and let other people tell you.You’re going down a path of hating yourself, and where you’re from. That’s not your story. The story of you and your roots is one of love and boldness. Of being unconventional. The damaging way you have been shaped by stories that seek to limit you and make you feel different and inadequate will make you stronger through that struggle to be free of them.
I’m not gonna lie, it gets even harder than it feels right now. I can’t tell you not to pretend to fit in, be ‘normal’ or ‘proper’ though it feels so unlike you.
You’ll find the right explanations for your story’s plot. You’ll lose yourself a bit, but you’ll find your way back like heroes always do. You’ll learn the words that describe why your brain works a bit differently, and why it makes it hard to be you sometimes. You’ll meet so many people who also find gender and sexuality a bit bonkers. You’ll dig out those hidden childhood photos, dressed as a boy, and show them proudly to your friends, because you were saying “fuck you” to gender norms before you hit puberty. You won’t believe the characters coming your way (I cannot stress this enough mate, you have so many brilliant friends as an adult it’s almost a chore to keep up with them all), and the things you will do when you make peace with yourself.
I know you’re going to silence yourself a bit. You think you’re doing yourself a favour, I get that. It might be what you need to survive right now. But when you open the floodgates and start to tell your stories, you’ll be amazed who’s willing to listen.
Big love little one,
Edi
(you can pull this nickname off now)
P.S — read Audre Lorde ASAP mate. Her words will do you a lot of good.
Enrol Yourself has helped me really put to bed the nervousness and shame about doing new things. It’s challenged the way I give, seek and receive feedback, test ideas and work with other people. The way I commit and support. But it’s also challenged the way I see myself, and I’ve only felt better for it.
I’ve found my thing and a beautiful tribe. It’s been a wild unpredictable ride that I could not encourage people to do highly enough.
