Coming to the Edge of an Abyss and Fronting Only the Essential Facts of Life
The Nietzsche/Mill/Thoreau Loop
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
-Friedrich Nietzsche
“In this frame of mind it occurred to me to put the question directly to myself: ‘Suppose that all your objects in life were realized; that all the changes in institutions and opinions which you are looking forward to, could be completely effected at this very instant: would this be a great joy and happiness to you?’ And an irrepressible self-consciousness distinctly answered, ‘No!’ At this my heart sank within me: the whole foundation on which my life was constructed fell down. All my happiness was to have been found in the continual pursuit of this end. The end had ceased to charm, and how could there ever again be any interest in the means?”
-John Stuart Mill
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.”
-Henry David Thoreau
One cannot possibly “front only the essential facts of life,” “put to rout all that is not life,” or “drive life into a corner” by spending much time on social media. Indeed, I defile Thoreau’s words by placing them in the same sentence with it. There are times when only prayer, reflection, reading and writing can provide quiet, calm, comfort, and peace when nothing else can. To be by oneself, alone, closed off from the noise, the constant chatter, the banality of modern life. To unhook, unplug. To look inward, to reduce life down to its absolute essentials. To look into the abyss long enough that it stares back as a mirror, forcing you to confront yourself and determine who you really are, and who and what you really care about. Distilled: Who and what are really important?
Coming to the Edge of an Abyss
Over the years people have complicated Nietzsche’s famous quote. I think it’s much simpler than all that. Most believe the first part of the quote is the easier part to apply in practical terms. For example, it could be used as a warning to those who fight evil to be careful that in doing so they don’t use evil means in their fight. This could apply to the way some believe the U.S. fought the War on Terror in the early days, with rendition, indefinite detention, and “enhanced interrogation techniques.” Or it could apply to law enforcement when they fight crime. “When you fight evil, be careful you do not become like your enemy.”
But it’s the second part of the quote that becomes more difficult to discern: “If you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.” Most people think this means that if you immerse yourself too much in evil — even if you are fighting it — you can become seduced or broken by it. This is a common theme in the Star Wars movies; Luke was continually warned that if he was not careful, he could be overpowered and broken by the “dark side.” In the real world, for example, prosecutors and investigators who work sexual assault and child exploitation cases suffer what is referred to as “vicarious trauma.” This can lead to burnout and worse. I have prosecuted many sexual assault and child exploitation cases, and they are some of the worst cases to work on because they constantly expose you to the worst evil in humanity, especially cases involving children. Being exposed to these types of cases over and over again can be soul-crushing. I know many colleagues who after working child exploitation cases for a few years had to be reassigned to other areas before they were completely burned out on the entire profession.
Although understanding what Nietzsche meant is useful background, for my purposes here it is not as important how we read or define Nietzsche’s quote as what we do when we find ourselves at the edge of the proverbial abyss.
You can find yourself at the edge of an abyss two ways: (1) you take yourself there, or (2) events outside your control take you there. For instance, in the movie Wall Street, Bud Fox, played by Charlie Sheen, has broken numerous securities and insider trading laws, and walks into work one morning not knowing that federal agents are waiting in his office to arrest him. His own actions have taken him to the edge of the abyss. On the way to his office, he is met first by one of the managing partners of his firm, Lou Mannheim, played by the venerable Hal Holbrook, who offers Sheen a different version and interpretation of Nietzsche’s quote.
I have distilled all versions of Nietzsche’s quote down to this: Sometimes in life, events — either of our own making or beyond our control — bring us to the brink of an abyss; it could be professionally — as in my case — or personally, and these events can take a variety of forms. The abyss is like a mirror because neither an abyss nor a mirror really stares back into you; they force you to stare into yourself. This would appear to be the opposite of what Nietzsche was saying, but I think it’s one meaning. So his quote, when read in complete context, actually means, “And if you gaze long enough into an abyss (mirror), the abyss (mirror) will reveal who you really are.”
Fundamental, irrevocable changes in thinking can’t take place philosophically. Will power won’t do it. It takes real, actual events to impose these changes; events that are so profound they shake you to the core. As stated, this is the second thing that can lead you to the edge of an abyss: events beyond your control.
Asking and Answering John Stuart Mill’s Question
“The end had ceased to charm, and how could there ever again be any interest in the means?”
John Stuart Mill stated an age-old question and captured the thought process one goes through when realizing the things that used to drive you are not so important anymore. It’s that feeling you experience when you reach a goal, and either have to find a new one, or worse, you find out that reaching the goal didn’t provide the satisfaction you thought it would. Or even still, you simply get burned out.
I touched on this kind of experience very briefly in a prior piece. After leaving active duty in the military, where the justice system was essentially pure — it aimed to preserve good order and discipline and provide individualized justice for an accused — I took a job with a civilian organization. Similar to Mill, I had made it to what I thought was my professional mountaintop, but when I looked around, I wasn’t charmed but what I saw.
What were the organizational ends? The ends were numbers, not justice. The ends were about getting people promoted, legitimizing budgets, staffing and funding, and putting out press releases every other day. One of the ends was to charge cases based on how much time a defendant would do, aiming to maximize the time he or she would serve in prison in a nation where we already over-incarcerate too many people for non-violent and victim-less offenses. The means were to mostly go after the low-hanging fruit (easy cases to investigate and work) and make sure investigators “got a stat.” I slowly became disillusioned with these means and ends.
I gazed long and hard into an abyss and realized I needed to reexamine everything, and make a change, because as Mill stated, these ends held no charm for me, and so how could I ever have any interest in the means?
Fronting Only the Essential Facts of Life
In a way, I had arrived at the edge of the abyss by a mix of my own actions in choosing that job in the first place and other events beyond my control. That combination of events lead to a Thoreauesque quest to front only the essential facts of life; to drive life into a corner and reduce it down to its simplest questions: Who are the most important people in my life? And what else is really important? Once identified, in order to “put to rout all that was not life” everyone and everything else needed to be cast aside.
What is really, truly essential? Faith, family, and friends. Focus on the people you love and who love you. Spend time with friends who are loyal, who make an effort to stay in touch with you, and who bring out the best parts of you. Find an avocation, a cause; something to do. Seek out opportunities to serve others in some way. And always have something to look forward to.
This quest requires the ability to focus, and it’s easier to focus when unplugged and cut off from the noise, like Thoreau was; shut out the noise, ignore the non-essential facts, drive life into a corner, put to rout all that is not life, and focus. Avoid the “news,” the internet, and social media. Or at least learn to consume them in some kind of moderation. Learning how to do that gets us closer to escaping the Nietzsche/Mill/Thoreau loop.
