Frustrations of a Post-Partum Woman
And the cure.
“If I can break my body a thousand times to give you life, I would.”
After delivery, all a mother wants is to take care of the new bud. It is important to have a partner who will not only stay by your side but who will closely take care of and supports you as your body heals.
And as a woman sometimes you want to do it all by yourself. To not bother your husband for he is tired too. Or you might just be in the same position as I am, I have 2 kids aside from our new bud and it frustrates me most of the time. I still want to give the same amount of attention to everyone, still be productive, earn, help with household chores (much if you are living with your mom, like me), and still keep up with beauty.
It is 2:00 am. The baby is awake and needs to be fed and put to sleep.
“But God my feet are swelling. Too much.”
It has been 6 days after Post CS. Research says it is okay to experience it (Edema) within a week. Some of the home remedies that I tried:
- To elevate legs
- To increase fluid intake
- Wear loose clothes
- To have a massage
- To soak into a warm bath
It is one to experience the swelling but it is another to not be able to provide the care you want from experiencing it. At times like this, a good partner and support system is needed. It felt a lot better when my husband took the time to raise my legs every night. I felt good when I saw him searching for ways how to alleviate the swelling. It is nice to have someone tell you to rest and go to sleep.
To have someone to remind a mother that they can rest too is already a gift.
It is 3:18 am. I am feeding my third, hands are already full, and my second requests for a feed too.
“Mom, a bottle of milk please!”
And here we go again. The terror of feeling the nerves runs up my body from my feet up, it cripples me. I want to do everything but I can’t.
To my surprise, my eldest, a 7byear old girl approached me and requested;
“Mom, can you let me prepare King’s bottle feed? I promise I’ll be good in it.”
I smiled and taught her “how to”. It was a complete turn from frustration to happiness and grateful. I never thought I could put some weight on my child too. It was a big help.
To allow someone to show up for us and to admit that yes, in all my strength and independence I need them too. A mother can share the weight with her child too- no matter how little.
Yesterday my husband and I needed to attend to an errand required to keep our small business going. We can’t go alone; incisions are still fresh, so we must leave the kids.
Mom was with me. It was my choice to stay with my mom my whole life. Because I want to be with her and yes, yes I need her to. The comfort and the joy of living with her outweigh whatever is outside. I’m happy I found a partner who allows me to. She’s always there for us. We argue once in a while but if I could, I want to stay with her as long as I can. It is always different when you have your mother with you. Always.
I don’t have a license to practice any health profession. I took nursing as my course. I overthink and I over care about people once in a while. Over love even. Foolish to most.
Frustrated people need someone to care. Someone to genuinely “look out” and “be there” for them.
If you have one consider yourself lucky and wealthy. If you have many then consider it a fortune. You don’t have all the cures and remedies to everything, but as long as you have them you can keep fighting.
“Caring is one of the simplest expressions of human life.
Dearest human, be.”
Thank you for reading. 🌷
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