This Is How Movement Serves Your Life As Medicine
If you have forgotten how a relationship with movement & your body deeply benefits you in being a better human, keep reading.
I have a short story to tell you, recounting an experience I had in my Austin, TX apartment back in March; just days before I entered into a self initiated business sabbatical. But before I get into it, let me give you some context.
From 2017–2022 my professional work was dedicated primarily to supporting women in returning to the wisdom and healing potential of their bodies. I created in person and virtual sacred spaces, courses, memberships and mentorships for them to explore and become reacquainted with their body relationship, their sensuality, sexual and erotic expression through sensual and intuitive movement.
I’m no longer on Instagram, but both my profiles are still available for you to check out my work there: @flowingwithmel and @meltheoracle
In the captions of a lot of my reels and photos on Instagram as well as old archives of my weekly email list called Teaching By Living I used language about sensual and intuitive movement that evoked an enchanting, feel-good, cute-sy, dreamy vibe and vision of how and who you can be because of it. And all of it is true. Building a relationship with your body through slow, intentional, present movement brings forth all those vibes…
AND it also brings forth real, raw, breathtaking, shadow bending, uncomfortable experiences as well. That also needs to be documented. I want to share my experience from a deeply revealing evening in March with you…
I took a nap around 4:30pm and woke up about 6pm. I felt really rested and relaxed so I simply laid still in my bed allowing the feeling to wash over me. After some time, I got the inclination to sink into a movement practice, so of course, I followed.
I turned out all the lights, lit all my candles, grabbed my full length mirror, turned on my music and began to vibe. It was cool, but a part of me felt I wasn’t really diving in, meaningfully. It all felt surface level and even after moving for a good 30–40 minutes I still had this tightness and pulling in the center of my chest (I had it for days and usually link it to anxiousness) that I was hoping would have dissipated. My body did feel very open, but I decided to stop moving and was led to sit and talk to myself in the mirror.
Light tears began to flow…and then here’s where shit shifted.
Grief began dislodging itself. I first started diving into feels about a past relationship. Which turned into feeling the mental, emotional, physical effects of the past two years. Which turned into feeling lingering loneliness, wondering if my loner nature was hindering me. Which turned into thinking about my parents’ inevitable aging process. Which turned into feeling the buried stresses of making my business work…
You get the point.
As it all evolved, my crying became full bodied, uncontrollable and I moved from sitting in the mirror to forming myself into the fetal position on the floor, holding myself extremely tight. I grabbed my yellow blanket (my safe blanket), wrapped myself in it, returned to the fetal position and in that moment I fell into a deep, chest heaving, snot filled cry with this song on repeat (because it happened to come on when this shift happened).
The kind of cry where you completely lose your breath and lose sound for seconds at a time, until your body begs for you to inhale again. I didn’t wipe the snot or the tears. I just let it all fall and sit. And when I could, I took the deepest, depth-filled breaths I could to make sure I moved what was coming up.
Even though I was in the throws of this experience, I kept my eyes on my sansevieria plant in front of me. Keeping my focus one pointed kept me grounded and in my body.
I was here for an hour. I just let it all flood my system, until my body felt it was complete. And even after that, I just laid there. There were in and out moments of falling asleep because of the way my entire body was involved in my weeping. I finally pulled myself out of the fetal position, off the floor and made some herbal tea; I immediately felt and knew that I was in an altered state.
I took the deepest breath I took all day and in that moment realized, the tightness and pulling I had felt in my chest…was gone. THIS was exactly what I needed and didn’t know I needed; to move grief through.
I wasn’t disillusioned in any way, my movement practice opened and facilitated this. What started as a picturesque, “sexy” movement practice, turned into a raw, vulnerably self-healing experience of facing, healing and moving grief up, through and out. An experience where I was able to mother myself, let myself fully feel sadness, fully feel heaviness, fully feel sorrow, fully feel overwhelm without running from, cutting off, suppressing or burying.
This is the deep medicine of body return. The deep medicine of movement facilitating spiritual growth, self actualization, self healing, emotional growth and emotional competence. The deep medicine of following your body when it leads. The deep medicine of following your spirit when it leads. The deep medicine of movement as an unfolding, an allowing and a peeling back of layers you often refuse to let be exposed, even if only to yourself.
This is deep medicine.
And I wanted to share my experience from that night, so that you can feel that truth, versus just simply seeing the words I type about it. This is why I devoted myself for so long to this modality, because of the way it has transformed me. This is also why I am having such a tough time following the call to mentor, model and teach this wisdom in a different way.
But no matter what medium or way I choose moving forward, my message of prioritizing being human for a living, will always be steeped in returning to your body, connecting to your spirit and allowing them to be the wisdom centers they have always been.
Mel The Oracle is a mentor, yogini, voice artist, writer and host of the Full Ass Human Podcast. After initiating a business sabbatical in march 2022, she began to explore a re-dedication to her many passions. She supports her listeners and readers by vulnerably modeling humanness, teaching by living and reminding them to invite all dimensions of themselves to the table.
