5 Tech Habits of Happy People
If you ask people whether technology makes them happy, they will look puzzled. Most will talk instead about how technology is taking up too much time, distracting them from real life, and generally making them miserable.
I should know. I’ve asked thousands of people to keep diaries of highs and lows with technology for the past two years. The negatives are about distortion — fostering a sense of self that doesn’t quite ring true or framing relationships in a shallow way or creating a false sense of urgency. But what about the positives?
People who are happy with technology do things differently. The difference is part mindset, part action. Here are five habits the happiest people incorporate into their technology use that you can try too.
1. Build Self-Awareness
Social media sets us up to compare our lives to the seemingly perfect lives of others. Add in an obsession with likes and comments, and we can be swept up into a storm of self-doubt. The happiest people focus much less on comparing though. Instead, they engage in social media as a way to document their lives, sharing both triumphs and failures. Studies suggest that people look at their timelines as a way to boost self-esteem.
There are other ways people build self-awareness, too. Using a device like Spire can decipher stress triggers. Emotion tracking apps like Mood Notes to understand emotional ups and downs. Rather than paying attention to how you compare to others, leverage your tech habits to better understand yourself. You may end up feeling happier about yourself and your tech use.
2. Co-Use
Have you ever watched a group of teens on their phones? Maybe not, because we tend to give people space when they are looking at a screen. If you do start to look though, you’ll notice teens passing phones back and forth. Watch kids playing and you’ll see them moving fluidly between a game on a tablet and conversations with stuffed animals. Next time you are at the airport stop to notice clusters of travelers looking at photos together on their phones.
People who are happy using technology, share their experience with the people around them rather than staying in that private bubble. As a parent, it may make you feel better to show or even narrate what you are doing on your phone with your child. If you have trouble putting the phone away when you get together with friends, try instead to share what you are doing on screen rather than silently retreating to your own world.
3. Cultivate Creativity
A lot of the interactions we have online are creative — a beautiful Instagram photo, a well-crafted post, a thoughtful playlist. We don’t always see it that way though. Those activities can feel like an obligation, or worse yet, something we are doing for show.
People with a positive approach to technology savor the creative aspect of the experience. In doing so, they shift focus from the end product to the creative process itself. Next time you are posting a photo, take time to reflect on the moment and enjoy adapting the photo to suit the mood rather than thinking about how many likes it will get. It will make a real difference in how you feel about the experience.
4. Provide Social Support
Technology can connect us to people and the world in new ways. While it opens up our world, it can leave us feeling helpless too. We end up sending thoughts and prayers because we are not really sure what to do to make a difference.
The happiest people are actively participating in causes online, from micro-volunteering using apps like BeMyEyes to randomly choosing a cause to support on GoFundMe to signing up to bring food to a recovering friend on LotsaHelpingHands. Call it a helper’s high, but it’s a win for everyone. Next time, after you send a supportive comment, consider what action you can take. Not only can you have a real impact on someone’s life, but you get happiness boost too.
5. Practice Gratitude
Research tells us that gratitude can have a huge impact on our happiness. For people who feel happy in their tech habits, this seems to be true. It’s not so much about sharing how you feel #blessed, as reflecting on it for yourself. You can use apps that remind you to record your day, like Mitra, or to be thankful, like Happify.
But it turns out that there are plenty of other ways to bring gratitude into your use of technology. When a reminder to wish a friend happy birthday pops up, use it as an opportunity to spark a conversation. Share a memory with a just a few friends on Timehop. Recognize that practicing gratitude can be a path to create a more meaningful connection.
Technology is deeply embedded in almost every aspect of our lives. Taking a break from technology is often not practical, and it’s not the only way to restore balance. By establishing new habits around your use of technology, you can start to bring more pleasure and purpose into your experience. And you may even end up passing on those benefits to others.
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This year, I’m imagining what a new positive technology would look like. I hope you will follow along here and on Twitter to join the discussion.
