8 Things to Check Besides Your Phone

A few nights ago I was at a pizza place getting carryout. While I waited for the bartender to get my food I noticed everyone at the bar was drinking and seemed pretty buzzed. Except instead of laughing and talking to each other, their energy was being directed at their phones. I have no idea if any of them even knew each other, but it was hard not to notice it — five humans sitting in a row, swiveling on bar stools, getting hammered with their content.

Everyone knows it’s easy these days to succumb to cellphone addiction. I’m not proud of it when I check my phone 30 times a day, or realize I’ve been texting throughout my entire lunch only to look up and see two co-workers who I could have gotten to know. The worst is when I ‘take a break’ from staring at two big monitor screens in the office by remaining in my seat, hunched over, and pulling out my phone — as if squinting at a tinier screen is a relief!

I really do want to be more curious about human signals than digital signals, and live more like a free agent in a techie society than a techie slave in a free society. I am putting this out there in hopes that there are others who feel the same and might be relieved to let go of their phone addiction.

To really get to the point of being human, I offer you this list of 8 things to check besides your phone:

1) Your breath

Are you breathing through your nose or mouth? Maybe you tend to hold your breath, or maybe you forget to take deep breaths once in a while. I once sang three entire songs at an open mic without really breathing. My roommate informed me of this as he kindly pointed out, “That’s why you sounded so nasally.”

The yogis have known for centuries how powerful the connection to the breath is. Now, science is backing it up and showing that it can lower blood pressure, improve endurance, eliminate disease, allergies, PTSD, and depression.

2) The sky

Do you ever look up to intentionally take in the sky? It’s pretty f-ing awesome. How often do we forget that there’s this beautiful picturesque event happening above us, clouds moving and changing, light and shadow patterns happening, in that space that expands out into the atmosphere? Whether it looks like swirling chaos, cobalt blue, multidimensional colors, or giant pillows, it sure is glorious to take in. (And it gives you a natural back bend to balance out all that hunching from staring at a phone!)

3) Your posture

Yeah, speaking of that hunching — spine curved, chin tilting downward, jaw tensed, face squinted, eyebrow furrowed. You get the picture. Instead of reaching for that phone and making the habit worse, why not not catch yourself in the act, put down the phone, and straighten your spine? Let your shoulders relax, feel your chin lift up, and let your ears align with your shoulders. (Guess my two year stint of teaching yoga did come in handy!) And if you’re real daring, do some neck rolls and stretch your arms up over your head. Feel what it’s like to free yourself!

4) What’s happening around you

Pause to take it in. If you’re sitting outside, what’s the landscape like? Is there interesting architecture to look at? If there are flowers nearby really look at them, appreciate them. Stare at the tangled structure of tree roots. Tune into any sounds in the vicinity. If you’re at home, listen to an entire song without any distractions, or even a whole record. If you’re walking in the park, listen to the conversations around you, maybe get inspired. The point isn’t to eavesdrop, it’s to just take a few seconds to be attuned to living energy.

5) Your face

Yes, your face. Even that you can learn to attend to and love. Notice your face — is it relaxed or tight? What does it feel like behind your eyes? Is your jaw tense? Think about how you’ve treated your face — have you taken care of it today? Washed it? Given it a gentle massage? Decorated it? Love that face of yours.

6) Your memory

Here’s an interesting fact. When the alphabet and writing was first invented, the Greeks strongly opposed it. Plato thought it would destroy memory. He said:

It will produce forgetfulness in the minds of those who learn it, by causing them to neglect their memory. Acquiring (by writing) much information unaided by instruction, they will appear to possess much knowledge, while, in fact, they will, for the most part, know nothing at all. — Dahl’s History of the Book

So what does it mean to check your memory? The Greeks were constantly checking their memory, their whole culture of oral tradition depended on it. Think of what’s important to you that you have stored away in your mind. A piece of wisdom someone passed down, a powerful quote, your world view. Can you recall it spontaneously?

7) Your imagination

We have a little phrase at my work, ‘going to lala land.’ We laugh about it and catch each other spacing out (well, maybe just me), but luckily daydreaming is not just ‘spacing out.’ It’s a way to tap into your imagination. If done constructively it can uplift you during monotonous tasks, help you envision your goals, and realize your deepest desires.

And if that’s not enough to get your imagination going, this recent study shows that daydreaming is a strong indicator of an active and well-equipped brain.

8) Your proximity to other humans

A few months ago I was at an outdoor festival taking pictures with my new camera phone while the rock bands played. Beach balls were a-flyin’, beer was a-flowin’, and my phone got a-broken. Watching it get knocked out of my hand in mid-air and smack against the concrete was definitely a lesson learned. AND it forced me to be phoneless at a social event (the horror!!)

Which is why when I saw a cute stranger sitting at a table across from me writing in the dark on a crinkled piece of paper, I thought what the hell, I’ve got nothing to lose. I asked him, “Are you writing song lyrics?” To my surprise he kindly replied, “No, it’s psychology research. I’m working on my Ph.D.”

The fact that this guy was compiling research on notebook paper at a music festival at 11:00 at night was hilariously fascinating. We ended up having a conversation and asking each other questions about our life goals. It didn’t end up much more than a 20 minute camaraderie, but it was fun, it was a real live human being, and I didn’t need a phone to make it happen.