Stupid Things I’ve Been Doing Lately

I changed your text tone.
Now it’s the default again.
And now you sound like everyone else.

And now

I send questions to people so that when they answer
I can pretend
for now
that it might be you
I just heard in my pocket
and maybe

you’re telling me that I don’t have to pretend anymore.

I go out of my way to walk on the grass.
I avoid sidewalks.
The grass makes it easier to imagine that my path is unique.

And no one

has been here before
and survived
because that would insult the proud grief
that I’ve been trying to believe
is a good use of my time
because if not for lies

I wouldn’t know what to tell myself.

I wrote a poem this afternoon.
It doesn’t rhyme.
But at least there is some structure to it.

And now

I will resume my impression
of someone who has somewhere else to be
as if this was only a detour
on my way
to a long list of important tasks
that I will execute with efficiency and confidence

while being careful not to notice that the list is no longer sorted by order of priority.

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