When Religious Superstition enters your bedroom
[ Me, My Wife, Children, and Relatives is a creative serialization of articles that aims at incorporating humor and sarcasm to spread the ideals of reason, science, humanism, Atheism and skepticism.]
Today, I want to tell you how situations have changed in my bedroom. Religion has apparently found its way into my bedroom and is spoiling the romance we used to have. When religion finds its way (together with its dogma) to your bedroom, you will be disappointed. Imagine this; — you approach the woman you love romantically and ready to show her love, but instead of her responding back, she looks at you religiously. You hold her in your arms and you tell yourself you want to give her the love of your life, but the mood she creates is too religious. You are about to give her kisses, but instead of preparing to receive the kiss, her lips turns religious! You try to touch her hands expecting them to respond positively, only to note they respond religiously. My friend, at that point, your morale goes away because of religion. At that moment, you come to the realization that religion is a useless thing when planted right at your bedroom. That is the point you note that religious dogmas are bullshit!
To be specific, all these happen because my wife knows that I am an atheist and want to use any opportunity to make me embrace her Christian religion. The first time she met me, she had not seen any African Atheist and wondered why an African like me could just decide to disbelieve in God and any other supernatural entity. When we first met, she believed she was a messenger sent by God to convert me back to Christianity; - and being in my life, according to her, was God’s making and that is why from the day she met me, she knew if her mission to convert me failed, she had failed this God. She knew her strong weapon to convert me relied on her beauty and the crazy love I had for her. Therefore, she brought religion to our bedroom. First, she made sure she planted Jesus picture in the bedroom wall and intentionally put it to face my direction. She believed by seeing the picture every day, it would plant religious ideas to my head, which would make me start giving conversion back to religion another thought.
Apart from that, she ensured that when we were having romantic time, she sung to me some of the songs in their book called the bible. If at all you don’t know the bible; — it is a bestselling Christian mythical book that give imaginary tales about how the world and everything was created without labor, but just mere word of God like “ Let there be humans and humans came in plenty!”. Anyway, those stories have their effects up to this century and a large percentage of sons and daughters of this earth have believed them. So, she chose songs like the Songs of Solomon just to corrupt my head. More so, when she described our perfect relationship, she constantly used the love tales in that book called the Bible. To revert to the story, she believed that if she pointed me with the bible one day, my Atheism will evaporate and I will be one of the last Apostles of this century spreading the name of someone called Jesus. If at all you do not know Jesus, he is one the rare species of human being claimed to have been conceived without the fusion of male and female gametes.
Now, my wife believed our love resembled that of Adam and Eve. Even though she persisted on using stories from the bible to convert me, I still did not lose my atheism. In the end, she noted one thing; an Atheist would survive anywhere because I did not refuse to do some of the things she thought were romantic to her even if they were religious. The difference is that I was doing it as socialization and not as faith. I could not allow those crazy ideas to stick to my head. At times, I would inform her about my rich knowledge of the bible and she wondered why after passing through Christian religion I decided to embrace Atheism. She thinks the best alternative would have been to join another religion.
I decided to narrate you the story because at the current moment, things have changed to worse in my bedroom. Apparently, a crazy pastor from Nigeria visited their church and informed them that she want to remove devils from them and for him to achieve this, women should declare one week of not having any kiss, romantic moment with their husbands, and should not make love since it will be a week of giving Jesus his time. The crazy preacher said when they do this, his blessings from God will come upon them, and their work and problems will end! Imagine she has totally believed in it. So, it means for the whole week, no kissing and romantic time. I wonder where Nigerian preachers get these crazy ideas.
To be continued……….
George Ongere is the Executive Director Center For Inquiry/ Kenya.
*Views expressed do not represent the official position of CFI*
