Member-only story
Human Condition | Mental Health
Ever Feel Like You Disappear to Keep the Peace? (The Hidden Costs of Being Nice)
How fawning can keep you “safe” and lonely at the same time
I define fawning as one of the “Six F’s” of survival responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Faint, Fidget and Fawn.
While it may appear, on the surface, to be about politeness or agreeableness, fawning runs much deeper.
It is a sophisticated, adaptive response rooted in survival, yet one that can become so culturally embedded it begins to feel invisible or even expected.
The Origins: Fawning as a Survival Instinct
In the wild, animals might appease a larger predator to avoid becoming prey.
Similarly, humans who grow up in environments where love, safety, or acceptance are conditional often learn to fawn as a means of staying safe.
When fighting back or running away isn’t an option, appeasement (fawning) becomes the most viable reflexive strategy.
Fawning isn’t about weakness; it’s about wisdom.
