Kindness Is a State of Mind

The Power of Kindness

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to learn more about you. Can you share some of your background with us?

When I was in 4th grade, my mom fell in love with a prison inmate. I spent my childhood Saturdays in a prison visiting my mom’s boyfriend. The first time I was ever in a wedding was as my mom’s flower girl in her prison chapel ceremony. I went into adulthood with a lot of confusion, hidden pain and loneliness. My life looked perfect on the outside — a handsome husband, three healthy children, a nice home… but I was a mess on the inside. Even the anti-depressants weren’t doing the trick. One day, in 2011, a kindness interaction with a stranger revealed a high unlike anything I had ever felt before. It was a simple kindness act involving a few $20 bills and a stranger, but it was life altering.

What does kindness mean to you? And why are you so passionate about cultivating kindness?

When I speak to the media or at professional events, they often refer to me as a “Kindness Expert” which absolutely makes me cringe! To me, “expert” means you know it all and you always get it right. That’s impossible to do with kindness. I can have all the information in the world, but I’ll always be a work in progress when it comes to implementing it perfectly every time. Just ask my team (there are four of us) or my family and they can share all the ways I wasn’t kind this week! Let’s just say I like to call myself a kindness advocate.

Oftentimes, people think kindness is all about doing nice things for others, but I believe kindness is a state of mind. It’s a way of seeing the world. I continue to share people’s stories of simple acts of kindness in my newspaper column because it keeps us zeroed in on all the good happening even when we’re faced with very difficult circumstances.

Kindness was the tool that kept me sane during my battle with breast cancer. Kindness was the key to a new relationship with my mom. Kindness is the bridge that has taken me from living life to loving life.

It has become my life’s mission to spread the powerful message that kindness has the power to transform our lives.

How can other leaders cultivate a kindness-centric workplace?

Here are two tips for leaders to cultivate kindness in their workplace:

1. Maintain a servant-leadership mentality. Look for ways each day to bring others up and create a culture that focuses on positivity and a place where employees feel valued. Ever watched the show Undercover Boss? Be the boss that invites the custodian out for lunch and asks the administrative assistant how his/her day is going.
2. Leverage perceptive communication. Understand different personality styles and choose your actions based on an educated decision to what the receiver or employee will respond best to. When you can take the time to really understand what makes someone tick, you can become a more efficient and effective leader.

What books, podcasts, or other resources inspire you to be a better leader?

Anytime someone is having relationship problems with a spouse, child or co-worker, I suggest they read Shaunti Feldhahn’s book The Kindness Challenge. Her tips are simple but scientifically proven to help!

If you’re not having any particular problems, but are wondering how to love people better, read anything by Bob Goff. I am currently reading his new daily devotional, Live in Grace, Walk in Love, but both Love Does and Everybody Always are game-changers when it comes to our patterns of thought.

Also, I get a daily email from Inspire More called the Morning Smile. It provides a great balance to the natural negativity of traditional news outlets.

Is there a particular person who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

Yes, my team member Andrea Theis is one of the kindest people I know. I was speaking at a breast cancer survivor event in Sioux Falls, SD. During the presentation, she stood up and walked out. I thought she just had to use the bathroom or something. Turns out, she was purchasing Kindness is Courageous books for every single woman in the audience — about 125 people! Andrea understands the power of filling our minds with kindness and she was convicted to act in that moment. It was a pivotal and memorable experience for me to be a part of. Everyone stood up and cheered for her.

Andrea is now the Communication Specialist on our team and focuses on nurturing and maintaining the relationships we have in our kindness network. If we have a homeless man from Ohio contact us or a screenwriter from Hollywood, Andrea is the one to help guide these relationships in the right direction. She is always leading with kindness and I look up to her!

With everything that is happening in the world right now, what are some of your hopes and dreams for either your company or the team that you manage?

The Kindness Team and I want to continue to keep a positive perspective and help those around us see the silver lining in every situation. We take one day at a time and ask ourselves what can we do to help TODAY? And what can we do to help the next person we talk to know that THEY MATTER? These simple thoughts turn into a ripple effect of kindness.

My big dream is to create a network of Kindness Cabins where people who constantly care for others can go to have their bodies and souls recharged. It’s sort of like a free VRBO for those who are working so hard to show kindness in their personal or professional lives. I have yet to purchase the first Kindness Cabin, but it’s on the horizon!

How can our readers follow you online?

Website: BraveandKind.net

Instagram: @nicolejphillips

YouTube Channel: Nicole Phillips

Twitter: @PhillipsNicoleJ

Facebook: NicoleJPhillips

LinkedIn: Nicolejphillips

If you have closing remarks, please share them below.

My goal is to help draw people into a community of love and kindness. I want to help others feel inspired to live a life filled with joy, and believe that happens when we take a leap of faith, step out of our comfort zones, and connect with other people through acts of kindness.

Thank you so much for joining us!

If you have enjoyed reading Nicole’s story, we highly suggest reading her new book The Negativity Remedy: Unlocking More Joy, Less Stress, and Better Relationships Through Kindness.

This article was originally posted on KOYA.

Don’t let distance get in the way of connecting with those you care about most. Send kindness to your friends and family through KOYA!