Tad
This is Tad. He is a bastard. Pardon my French. I have to report the facts though. Scientifically they call this guy a bastard and casually they call this guy a bastard.
One of his parents is a blue whale and one of his parents is a fin whale. He is a hybrid. Not only that, he is thought to be the only one currently in existence. Over the past ten years, there have been six reported other bastards. He migrates between Norway and Iceland where over the last few years whale spotters have patiently waited for him to make an appearance.
Typically a bastard is a term reserved for a child born to unwed parents. Yet, those animal nerds decided that this poor guy is a bastard in their indexes. Who are we to judge the commitment made between the parents of Tad? They are different species so we don’t recognize their relationship? Or maybe it is a subtle dig because no one on land was invited to the wedding. Whatever the reason, seems a little narrow minded people. Although, on the other end of the argument I can’t think of any other inter-species relationships who have had their marriage recognized or even normalized. Ligers are part lion and part tiger, they don’t call the offspring bastards, but there are no records of these animals entering into a legally bound union or signing the ketuba. The king of the jungle gets all of the perks. That guy who was in love with a dolphin didn’t get the tax breaks of a married couple, however that situation seemed a little more like a fling.
Not only is Tad referred to as a Bastard, he is also the last remaining of his kind. The other bastards have all been killed. Even just three years ago there were at least four similar hybrid whales. Jerk off people hunted them specifically for the cache of having such a rare animal on their mantle.
Old Man and the Sea style. I wanted to call it Old Man in The Sea, because that’s how I said it in my head. A little like Sex And The City vs. Sex In The City. Reading is fundamental.
If there was a pod of whales swimming around called the bastards, I’d be reluctant to go out in a boat based on name alone. Just one bastard sounds like a sorry situation. Perception is reality. Once you start self identifying as a bastard, the intimidation factor rises. When you run from a derogatory name, you look like a coward. When you start signing thank you notes xoxo the bastard, no one will even consider taking advantage of you.
Bastards are on a little bit of a comeback. Game of Thrones’ best character is a bastard. LeBron James and Justin Beiber by definition are bastards. Marriage is a thing of the past it seems.
I always read about open marriages and separations. Once upon a time you needed real sand to have the type of disposition that could cheat on their spouse. Now you’re the ballsy type if you stay with one person.
This is a nature piece and meant to tell us what we can learn from animals or nature. Here is today’s lesson. If someone cheats on you and says that mankind is not biologically built to be faithful, you should give them a second chance. Here’s why, for someone to believe that is an accurate statement means they are so terrified of losing you that they are grasping at straws.
If mankind was built to sleep around, early humans would have children as often as possible with as many partners as possible. Then the next generation would have an increased chance of incest leading to more recessive genes becoming dominant, impacting the overall health of the population thus hurting the chances of ever flourishing as a group.
Sticking with one partner is real. You don’t need to go to the court house either. Actions speak louder than words anyway. Best gift a kid can get is the parents respecting each other.
Tad might be a bastard by some silly standards, but this guy knows love and because of it he has confidence in a world pitted against him.
