5 essential rules of forming a new habit

New year with the same old habits running your life? It doesn’t have to be like that. What you repeatedly do ultimately forms the person you are: if you want to improve, you’ve got to learn new habits. There’s just no other way around.

Then there’s also that inevitable „but“: forming a new habit is easier said than done. As we get older, our brains tend to get locked on running the same repeatable patterns, whereas learning new patterns becomes progressively harder. So how do you teach something an indolent pupil who’s refusing to learn? You trick him. Here are five essential rules of tricking your brain into learning a new habit:

Use an old habit as an anchor for the new one

The first thing you’ve got to understand about your brain is that it gets used to repeating not individual patterns, but rather series of related patterns, e.g. breakfast — coffee — Facebook. One habit basically triggers another. This is why it’s easier to learn a new habit by means of anchoring it to an already established one: „once I’ve brushed my teeth, I will do XYZ“. Obviously, the habit that you use as an anchor should match the frequency of the new habit and happen at the same time of day. Just come up with a trigger that will work best for you.

Use the micro-commitment approach

Most people are so reluctant to change their lives not because they lack willpower, but because they are afraid to fail. The same thing — the fear of failure — keeps us from learning new habits, especially those that require a lot of commitment. That’s when the micro-commitment approach comes into play.

Say you’ve decided to learn a new language, and you want to progress really fast — your aim is to learn like a hundred words each day. How do you get there? You start with five words. As soon as you got used to learning five words a day, you switch to ten, then to 20. The key is to begin at the point where it’s impossible to fail — and slowly build up your progress (and confidence) from there.

Make yourself accountable

You are more likely to follow through with commitment when you’re being observed by others — countless scientific reports out there are proving that. As social animals, we feel more motivated to work on something knowing that other people are aware of what we try to achieve (and support us). Use this power of social approval: let others know about your goal and see what effect it will have on you.

Don’t forget about the reward

The process of building a habit can be divided into four stages: the cue, the craving, the response, and the reward. The cue stage is about noticing the reward, the craving stage is about wanting the reward, and the response stage is about obtaining the reward. Rewards are the end goal of every habit.

Depending on the habit, rewards can be instant and long-term: with a habit like running, the reward feels instant (you enjoy the process and feel better after you’re finished), but when it comes to developing habits related to certain skills (learning a language, playing an instrument), rewards don’t come that fast.

If that’s your case, you should know that when your brain doesn’t get the reward, it is less likely to stick to the habit. This is why it’s so important to build a substantial reward mechanism: „after I’ve learned a hundred new words (practiced sax for two hours), I’ll eat a pizza / watch a movie/ do whatever I like the most”. Don’t underestimate the meaning of reward — it is crucial to your success.

Make your new habit a part of your identity

Bob and Rob are two fellas who never had an opportunity to master the art of playing the guitar. Both have zero skill and both start developing a habit of practicing 45 minutes a day. Their approaches to practicing are completely similar, there’s only one difference: from now on, Bob thinks of himself as an aspiring guitarist, whereas Rob thinks he’s the same guy practicing guitar 45 minutes a day. Can you see who is more likely to succeed?

Repeating a habit on a daily basis will only get you so far: if you really want it to stick (and eventually become a part of your life), you’ve got to make it a part of your core identity. In the end of a day, you can tell you’ve succeeded in mastering a habit only once you realise you are doing it automatically — same as brushing your teeth or checking your Facebook feed. So good luck. And don’t forget about the 21-day rule!