Sure, Roseanne Is A Racist But She’s Hilarious, So It’s OK

From a photo shoot Roseanne did for an article, That Oven Feelin’, in issue 21 of Heeb Magazine. The writer says the Hitler costume was Roseanne’s idea. Roseanne’s show-runner, Bruce Helford, claimed this photo was just Roseanne’s attempt at humor. Probably because Hitler burning people in an oven is such an hilarious event.

Bigots are just naturally funny. When Hitler got a few drinks into him and told the one about the Jew and the goat, he would have the whole room in stitches.

By David Grace (

I think a lot of people are missing the point on this Roseanne Barr kerfuffle. What you need to understand is that racists are naturally funny, so you have to cut them some slack. Have you ever been at a party with a racist bigot? They’re a laugh riot.

Let me tell you, when Hitler got a few drinks into him and told the one about the Jew and the goat, he would have the whole room in stitches. And, man-o-man, if you got Hitler and Goebbles together and they started doing their Two-Jews-In-A-Police-Station routine, people would laugh so hard they’d wet themselves.

And please don’t get me started on David Duke. He could be a headliner at any comedy club in Idaho if he’d only buckle down and work on his timing. Those one-liners about Mexicans never get old.

So Roseanne Barr thinks that black people are simply a variety of jungle apes. Get past it! It’s her quirky take on the world that makes her so hilarious. Her racism is just something you have to put up with if you want access to her massive talent.

Come on. We all know that if you’re really talented it doesn’t matter how terrible a person you are. Talented people live by a different set of rules than ordinary folk. You have to give them a pass now and then.

Harvey Weinstein–fantastic producer. Roman Polanski. Sure, slipping a thirteen-year-old girl a Quaalude and then sodomizing her was not something the average person would do, but Polanski won an Academy Award for God’s sake so we have to judge him by a different standard. Bill Cosby. Enough said.

And Roseanne losing her show now is such a tragedy. I’m guessing that she was planning an episode where she notices that there’s something a little off about the new family moving in across the street.

What could it be? What could it be?

As she turns to walk back to the kitchen she sees her Make America White Again baseball cap and mutters, “Oh, no. Those border jumpers aren’t going to steal my welfare check” and grabs the phone.

“Get me the White House,” she snarls. “Why? Because there ain’t no brown in Red, White and Blue. . . . President Trump? What’s takin’ you so long to build that wall you promised us? . . . . Oh, sure, it’s always the Democrats. Can’t you just shoot ’em or something? . . . Excuses, excuses. Well, while you’re thinking about it, get some of your crack border guys down here ’cause I’m watching a brown invasion and it ain’t chocolate syrup.”

The rest of the episode practically writes itself. Hilarious. I mean, what’s a funnier premise than kids who’ve lived their whole lives in America being deported to the slums of Guatemala? And it’s patriotic too. Kudos to you, President Trump.

Like I said, come for the jokes, stay for the racism. It’s like the chewy chocolate center that makes a Tootsie Pop taste so good.

I know, I know, Roseanne’s an unhinged, conspiracy nut-job, but we just have to accept that little flaw as one of the oddities that make her such a comedic genius.

You have to admit that the idea that the former President and First Lady were raping children in the basement of a pizzeria that didn’t even have a basement is one hell of a premise for a sitcom. Sure, it’s a little out there for ABC, but I hear Fox is all over it.

The thing we need to remember here is that bigots and racists are, by nature, really funny.

If you’re white.

If you’re not, you’re not part of the advertisers’ prime demographic anyway so unless the sponsor is selling beer, candy bars or t-shirts, who cares?

I don’t understand why ABC doesn’t get that. But, no matter, Fox or somebody else will.

If you know someone who doesn’t understand the concept of sarcasm, send them a copy of this column. Maybe they’ll figure it out.

A Salute To Brutal Hypocracy

Rosanne Barr now feels that she is being treated unfairly because of her racist tweet, and she has characterized the criticism of her as people getting together to “lynch a Jew.”

As if:

  • Bernie Madoff were to complain about excessive oversight of the investment industry.
  • Equifax were to label privacy concerns as wild hysteria.
  • Wells Fargo were to protest not being named America’s Most Ethical Bank
  • Ted Bundy were to condemn the media for their unfair treatment of serial killers
  • Dr. Mengle were to protest alleged over-regulation of medical experiments

Or, actually:

  • Roman Polanski threatened to sue the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences because they hadn’t given him a fair hearing to tell his side of the story before they expelled him for drugging and then having anal sex with a thirteen-year-old girl.
  • Roman Polanski’s lawyer claiming that the Academy’s threat to expel Polanski amounted to “psychological abuse of an elderly person for populist goals.”
  • Rosanne Barr claiming that she was the victim of a smear campaign because of a “stupid mistake” by which she apparently meant taking Ambien before going on Twitter.

Sanofi, the maker of Ambien, responded to Rosanne Barr’s blaming their product for her tweet that compared Valarie Jarett to an ape:

  • “People of all races, religions and nationalities work at Sanofi every day to improve the lives of people around the world. While all pharmaceutical treatments have side effects, racism is not a known side effect of any Sanofi medication.”

As Porky Pig so often said:

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–David Grace (

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David Grace

David Grace

Graduate of Stanford University & U.C. Berkeley Law School. Author of 16 novels and over 400 Medium columns on Economics, Politics, Law, Humor & Satire.