‘Air And Water Show’ Meant Peeing Outside, Local Girlfriend Reports

CHICAGO — Area woman Nicole Hibbert, 28, has announced that her boyfriend Robbie Ewing’s repeated exhortations to see the “Air and Water Show” meant watching him urinate outdoors.

“I didn’t particularly want to go, but it happens every year and Robbie seemed really into it,” Hibbert said. “Then we got outside and he started peeing in a little arc and I was like, oh, OK, this is what it was. This is what it always was.”

While Hibbert was under the impression that she and her boyfriend of two years were on their way to Chicago’s annual display of military vehicles, the truth quickly became clear when the publicly urinating Ewing demanded that Hibbert “check it out: air and water!”

“He wouldn’t let me leave,” said Hibbert. “He kept telling me that I couldn’t miss the grand finale, which was just him pissing while spinning around.”

When it became clear that his girlfriend did not appreciate his performance, Ewing declared that the gently sobbing Hibbert was “stuck up” and reportedly “had to admit” that his urination was the “show of a lifetime from some impressive equipment.”

Hibbert’s best friend, area marketing associate Keira Andrews, was not surprised to hear the news.

“She told me that Robbie kept calling it ‘the air and water show,’ the whole thing, every time,” Andrews said. “Never ‘hey let’s see the jets’ or ‘let’s check out the air show.’ I told her he was definitely using it as some awful euphemism, but Nicole wanted so badly to believe him.”

“This isn’t the first time he’s dedicated a weekend to a piss joke,” Andrews added.

Upon returning to work the following Monday, Hibbert found herself faced with the difficult task of explaining the events of her weekend to co-workers she had informed of her plans to see the Air and Water Show.

“I stuck with telling them that Robbie wasn’t feeling well,” Hibbert said. “It’s as close as I can get to the truth without crying a little bit.”

When reached for comment, Ewing cited the affair as a classic example of the spontaneous humor that he supposes will keep his relationship strong for years to come.

Tom Harrison’s got your “Blue Angels” right here.