Gender Reveals for Those Expecting… a New Word in Spanish
As a parent, I love gender reveals as much as the next Buck or Doe, but let’s be honest, it’s kinda all downhill from there (Betty, if you’re reading this — finally!). That’s why I decided to learn a language where — get this — every word is gendered.
All you need is a friend who knows Spanish. I used my gal pal Cheryl! She threw so many fabulous fiestas while teaching me these words’ genders!
- “Laundry”
Cheryl walked me over to my washer squealing, “Press ‘on’ to find out!” Suddenly, my clothes burst into a fuschia cloud — “Meet la lavadora!” cried Cheryl. “It’s a girl!!”
“Oh!” I exclaimed. “That’s why it does laundry!” Turns out Cheryl put a red sock in with the whites, and while I don’t need quite so many pinks, no one said learning Spanish would be this easy!
2. “Dress”
Cheryl handed me a garment bag. “Guess the dress color!” she panted. The last time I did this was in ’85 when I was a bridesmaid; and lemme tell ya, no one looks good in a neon orange dress.
Well, this time it was blue! “El vestido?? It’s a boy…” said Cheryl. “No,” I replied firmly, “It just thinks it’s a boy. I mean, it’s a dress! C’mon!!” We decided to refer to the dress as la vestida! Who says you can’t put your own twist on a centuries’ old language.
3. “Hamster”
I was a little confused when Cheryl snuck Peaches the Hamster in when we went to the zoo; and even more when she casually tossed it into the gaping maw of the sub-Saharan hippopotamus! But it all made sense when it exploded in bursts of blue — “Viva el hámster!” she howled into the wind.
“How??” I marveled.
“A steady diet of only blueberries!!!” she grinned maniacally.
“But wait — wasn’t Peaches a girl?”
“Yes!” said Cher. “But the term ‘hámster’ is masculine, regardless of the animal’s gender.”
…I learn something new every time I go to the zoo!
4. “School”
It was a brisk winter’s eve when Cheryl pulled me into the bushes outside our daughters’ elementary school.
“Cheryl!” I cried. “It’s a school night!”
“Is it?” she asked. And with a bang, I saw Cheryl blast the town’s tax dollars into a cloud of neon pink smoke.
“La escuela,” she whispered. “…es no más.”
At this point, I realized Cheryl was a bit more of a bandita than I’d thought, so I called off our hangouts. Plus, she has a warrant out for her arrest after blowing up all the taxpayers’ money; but hey — I’ve got four words in Spanish that I’ll never forget, and that’s something no amount of public education can replace ❤
