Rejectress Submission: Isabella Quiros
Here are some (funny?) things I wrote that other people didn’t like.
- Woke Preschool Now Teaching A-C-A-Bs Instead Of A-B-Cs
“They’re gonna be more ready to defund the police at 3 years old than our city council is at 3x00 years old,” said one of Liberty Preschool’s youngest teachers in an interview about the school’s reopening plan following major police reform movements.
2. QUIZ: Are You More HBO, HBO Go, HBO Now, Or HBO Max?
How to find stability in life when HBO is constantly rebranding. Example questions: “Is your aura black, blue, or purple?” and “Do you have friends in real life or do you just watch ‘Friends’ on TV?”
3. ‘It’s Not You, It’s Me.’ How To Tell Your Significant Other You Have COVID-19
A romantic way to break the news to the only person you’ve been in close proximity to in the last 6 months. “It’s not a goodbye, it’s a see you later,” one woman told her boyfriend ahead of his 14-day wait for test results.
4. 3 Mascaras That Won’t Smudge When You’re Tear-Gassed At A Peaceful Protest
Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s ACAB. Try wearing ‘Urban (Hoods) Decayed,’ ‘Wet N Watery,’ or ‘L’Oréally Burns’ to your next peaceful protest that will inevitably be tear-gassed.
5. Help! My Company Assigned Summer Reading To Combat Systemic Racism
A woman’s demoralizing account of being asked to read meaningful literature alongside her male colleagues who haven’t read a pictureless book since their elementary school’s accelerated reading programs.
Vote for Isabella Quiros’ headlines by clicking ‘like’ on Humor Darling’s post with Isabella’s name!
