Rejectress Submission: Lesley Hennen
Published in
2 min readAug 9, 2020
- Woman Bad At Texting Despite Being On Her Phone 24/7
A local news report about 24-year-old Elizabeth Williamson who just can’t seem to respond to texts in a timely manner, even though she is constantly looking at her phone. “When asked to comment, Williamson responded 4 days later with, ‘Yikes just saw this! I’m bad at texting hehehe sorry.’” - Serums That Will Have Everyone In Their Early Twenties Saying You Look SO Good For 28
A list of anti-aging serums guaranteed to spark unprompted comments on your youthful appearance from everyone under the age of 25. “This retinoid is effective, affordable, and will have your 22-year-old intern screaming “WHAT?! YOU’RE 28??? OH my GOD I never would have GUESSED, you look SO good for 28!!!” - Silk Sheet Sets Guaranteed To Make You And Your Partner Fuck Right Off The Bed
Top-rated silk sheet sets that will make your next sexual encounter virtually impossible without falling off the bed. “This set has 4 stars on Amazon! One star for every second you’ll manage to actually stay on the bed while trying to fuck in these sheets.” - Inspiring! Woman Who Doesn’t Look Like Other Women Still Leaves Her House Sometimes!
An inspiring account of one brave woman who leaves her house every now and then. “Tammy is an entirely different height, weight, body shape, and Myers-Briggs personality type than literally every other woman on the planet, and yet she still manages to leave her house once in a while! We simply must stan.” - The Best Apps for Scheduling a Meeting to Discuss When to Have Your Next Meeting About Scheduling a Meeting
A list of apps that will make scheduling your next meeting to discuss scheduling more meetings a breeze. “Have you tried Doodle? What about When2Meet? No? Well, then how about When Should We? Actually, it’s probably better to just send everyone a link to all three, and you can discuss it at your next meeting about when to schedule another meeting to talk about when to schedule the next meeting.”
Vote for Lesley Hennen’s headlines by clicking ‘like’ on Humor Darling’s post with her name!
