Rejectress Submission: Odeya Pinkus
1. How to tell your friends that you are mad at them, by asking them if they are mad at you
If you’re not comfortable with your own feelings, just turn them around!
“Why express yourself when you can just project — by asking her if she’s mad at you, she’ll start to think about all the reasons she COULD be mad at you, instead of the other way around”
2. How I plan to read and learn about my White privilege, just as soon as I find my dad’s Amex!
A white woman will learn about racism with the use of her dad’s credit card, which she lost.
“Ugh Maybe I’ll just get the ebook because I have his Visa hooked up to my Kindle account”
3. 5 Denim Jumpsuits That Say “I’m Not Like THOSE Other Girls, But I Am Exactly Like THESE Other Girls”
It’s the perfect outfit to express your individuality and your willingness to follow trends.
For example, the glam look — nobody else will be wearing this at the bar, unless they are!
4. Why I’m taking a break from social media to amplify black voices, except for this last post and also my birthday and probably when i get a promotion too
A woman is ready to step back and listen, as long as you all know she’s doing it!
“Please don’t forget to follow me on Instagram and twitter for more on my journey to amplify others.”
5. Local Anxious Virgin breathes sigh of relief after third negative pregnancy test
She has never had vaginal or anal sex, she understands basic human biology, and she’s still anxious enough to buy the pee stick!
“‘Ok but what if like, when we kissed some special biological marvel happened,’ she texted her group chat anxiously”
Vote for Odeya Pinkus’ headlines by clicking ‘like’ on Humor Darling’s post with Odeya’s name!
