Rejectress Submission: Sara Costello

Sara Costello
Humor Darling
Published in
2 min readAug 16, 2020


Lemons into lemonade, baby! Bitter, bitter lemonade.

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1. Why Your Lakehouse is Bad Unless I’m Invited

Lakehouses are a symbol of oppressive generational wealth that was intentionally kept from people of color in this country, and if you decide to invite me for a long relaxing weekend, I won’t bring this up.

2. Burn It All to The Ground, Says Local Woman With Absolutely No Stake in Any of This

Far removed from protests in her Naperville condo, Jenna Yeager supports the movement against racism and fight for equity. “Get rid of it all! Loot the banks! My inheritance is all in buried gold, who cares?”

3. Quiz: Would I Be Happy as a #Cottagecore Lesbian or Do I Just Need to Take One Single Walk?

Sometimes it’s just very hard for me to tell if I want my whole life to be lace doilies, wind chimes, and kisses in plaid bandanas or if I’m just out of English Breakfast teabags.

4. Uh Oh! I Used The Wrong Blood Magic Hex Again

Fuck. Shit. No one’s heard from Mrs. Henderson in three days. I only wanted her to stop filing noise complaints about me! Ugh, I can’t believe this tattered Necronomicon I found in a roadside flea market keeps double-crossing me.

5. 6 Drugstore Pencils to Fix The Eyebrow Slit You Fucked Up

So you’re a closeted lesbian who’s trying to signal to the world that you love women, but you’re bad with a razor, huh? Let’s clean up your attempt at an eyebrow slit. Have you tried the Bobby Brown Longwear Pencil? It’s perfectly defined, unlike that time you tried to explain to your friend how it felt when she braided your hair in public.

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Sara Costello
Humor Darling

Sara Costello is a Chicago actor, improviser, writer and tarot slinger. DM her about ghosts and/or gigs at @saracosty.