Signs Your Date Isn’t Turned Off by You — She’s Just Astral Projecting
The only possible explanation for her aloofness is that her soul has disconnected from her physical body and is floating through the air.
She hasn’t said a word in the last 10 minutes.
Not even when you shared that hilarious anecdote about the time you were 12 and prank-called the local pizzeria with your friends, ordering a “PP-roni” pizza.
Not even when you explained that your phobia of overly ripe bananas was caused by your 5-year-old self plucking a banana slug off the ground and swallowing that sucker whole, only to find that it was not, in fact, a banana.
Not even when you said you were a feminist in the streets and a misogynist in the sheets — now if that’s not gonna get her attention, what will?
She knows exactly how the restaurant’s Chicken Scampi is prepared even though she’s never had it before.
If she starts going into detail about how the dish features fresh bell peppers and onions atop a bed of angel hair pasta drenched in a creamy scampi sauce, chances are she has just astral projected to the kitchen and has witnessed the full cooking process. Hey, maybe she can check to make sure…
