Top New Year’s Picks for the Solo Celebrator from the Sharper Mirage Catalog

Whether you live by yourself or simply fantasize about it, create New Year’s magic completely alone in the privacy of your home with these great products. These state-of-the-art items will allow you to sidestep common NYE pitfalls such as itchy sparkly outfits, unattainable resolutions, counting backward in public, and the dreaded midnight kiss with someone nearby

Ionic Neck Brace: Are you tired of holding your head up? While that freeloading bone ball used to be the ambassador to your body, no one can see it anymore behind your mask. Your head does little to deserve its place atop your body, but it’s still there, like a has-been celebrity that thinks it can hawk premier vodka. We combined the soft comfort of a whiplash collar with the reassuring structure of a chastity belt. Emits a puff of ionized lemongrass tranquil mist every five minutes.

-“My head used to be so heavy I couldn’t even think! Now thanks to the Ionic Neck Brace, I enjoy 3–5 thoughts daily!” -Rico, Orlando, FL

Things with Lasers: Now that you’ve been in the house for nine months mind-melding with your indoor cat, everything is more fun with lasers — we’ve put them on everything from shower shoes to nose trimmers to baseball caps. No one knows if these next-generation lasers remove hair or grow…