And, then, God said, “Let there be Twitter!”
Whatever Twitter may or may not have done, it has made us, willingly or unwittingly, a citizen of the world.
Twitter kick-starts my day.
After my early morning meditation, if I am not on a silent or a sulking mode, and after paying my dues at the pot, more often than not, I go to twitter for a trot. Suddenly, the world burps, waking me up like a pinch on the butt. Usually, it is someone somewhere letting out his or her crap. As a counter point, a few gentle souls whisper sweet nothings here, hoping to catch somebody’s ear out there in the nowhere. It’s a ‘mixed-up’ crowd here, on twitter — each on one’s own trip, but tripping upon others’ timeline; oft showing-off their slip, a good many sans wit. Luckily, as I have come to know, over time, the do-gooders out-twit the ‘crap’ shooters.
It’s akin to watching ticket-less, the world pass us by; without necessarily boarding its fuss, yet saying hi. Once in a while, if one is lucky and feeling cocky, one is able to trap a gadfly — counter punching a below-the-belt ‘hooker’. Though tit for tat following and un-following is common, there is also many a quid pro quo friendly encounter. Some touchy, over-the-top gung-ho down-with-your-imaginary-friend evangelicalism too inevitably crops up now and then. More now, in-your-face anyhow, than later or thence. However, many a sane voice also has its say on twitter.
Considering my foot to butt luck these days, after a little less than 1,400 days in ‘active service’, I have yet managed to outmaneuver more than 14, 000 to be my ‘friends’ on Twitter. Whether they ‘follow’ me with any good intention or deep attention, is any fool’s wild guess. Since I value my sanity, I just count my blessings than my woes. In case I forget those, my sense of humor keeps me on my toes.
However, humor, especially about religion and god, mon ami and bete noire, is either messy or missing in large parts on Twitter. Poking fun with unfunny intentions is not humor, by the way. Sometimes, even if metaphysically, I crack a nut, an odd up-my-butt ultra-religious or overzealous “Mine is bigger than yours!” god-fellow, un-follows my less-than-honorable self. Since his or her god is usually the wrathful one, I make it a point to follow suit likewise and unfollow, lest I am left without my tickling boots.
Few pretentious twits are purchasing followers too, some in hundreds of thousands. One time, a husband and wife writer duo, both having more than 200, 000 followers, un-followed me over a comment that did not twinkle their teeth. I checked their ‘fake followers’ on a website, catering to this very purpose,and found that over 80% of their ‘fan-following’ was fake; purchased to bake them a crooked celebrity cake. A few other twits, I discovered, have similarly become a ‘payed for’ pied piper on twitter.
Many glum faces, too busy selling their own wares to run either with the tortoise or the hare, are also here. They obviously do not really care about playing footsie with the ‘lesser’ lot. They expect others to applaud — read, re-tweet them — while rarely if ever, paying their friendly following a compliment in kind. From the loony sidelines, I watch their ‘mooning’. They’re mostly wiping the ass of each other; re-tweeting often twits that god made in the make of their mother or brother — that is, who are followed by as high a twit count as the other. Again, one can hardly miss finding one too many self-proclaimed gurus, of this type or that typo, touting their twitch on twitter. Admittedly, a fair number are good, rest are good for their Maker: better there! than here.
Yet, overall, here, good guys are able to crinkle their noses at the ‘wise guys’ — those too big for their boots, or them! who, with a misplaced messiah-hood complex are cahoots. That every fellow, big or belittled, is able to have his or her simple say on one’s timeline, is perhaps the reason one strays towards twitter. And, like a mongrel, once in a while, one is, if one so chooses, also able to piss a little up a big or a fig tree. This laissez-faire every twit enjoys. Anything more is but boys with toys. And, a bit more that one can chew without breaking one’s wisdom tooth, is a rare word of goodness and godliness from a scarce breed of fine and refined intellects on twitter. This is just ‘manna’ from God. As an afterthought.
Being a spiritual person of sorts, I hope it is.
Here’s wishing all a happy tweeting, my friends, in the time to come. May we all be a little more caring, compassionate and a little less country-specific in the coming year. For, amongst its many blessings, social media platforms, especially Twitter, have made us all a more aware, a better in-touch person in this short span of time that such internet innovations have come into our life. At the minimum, owing to coming of age of social-media on internet, we have all become what we were not, yet resist becoming — a citizen of the world.
Enough said.
